Wednesday, May 5, 2010

May 4, 2010

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Well, it is!! Except for that overwhelming gloom that settled when the Spurs lost last night.

Song promotion of the day -
Daughter by Pearl Jam
Them Bones by Alice in Chains
The Unforgiven by Metallica

My Gal Friday…Steffi Style Song Promotion of the Day-
The Nightingale by June Johnstone
Without You by Dixie Chicks
I Think We're Alone Now by Tiffany (and no - not giving the 80s their girl back!!!)

Today in History

1715 - French manufacturer debuts 1st folding umbrella (Paris)
1983 - Cowboy Bob Pickett invents bulldogging
1942 - Food 1st rationed in US
1964 - "Another World" & "As the World Turns" premieres on TV


“Finding a new map in the brain is a truly exciting experience. It's a little like traveling to an unexplored island. It's literally charting new territory.”
~Christopher Moore

from random friends, family, etc.

today is such a beautiful day, I considered a 'mental health day', but two things: I can't bail on Bale - and with my luck I'd really get sick. and then I couldn't wear jeans!!!!
~My Gal Friday...Steffi Style


Word of the Day

iatrogenic - (of a medical disorder) caused by the actions of a physician


May is Get Caught Reading Month.
My picks are House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski, and House of Sleep by Jonathan Coe.
Nick Ramos' pick is Fluke by Christopher Moore.
Please send me your own picks so I can include them.

This week is National Hug Week. Feel free to give me a hug.

Today is National Teacher Day & Star Wars Day!

My Life is Average

Today, after taking a long shower, I looked to the shower curtain on my right to see a spider sitting on it. Me, being afraid of spiders, was about to spray it with the shower head when it hit me; this little guy had survived not only sitting next to me for a half an hour, but he also survived all of the water that had been sprayed all over the place. I couldn't kill him after that. "You feel pretty accomplished right now don't you?" I said to him. I watched dumbfounded as he raised a couple of legs at me. MLIA
**I don't think I have ever felt sorry for a spider before.**

Today, I was in the stairwell of my school with my friend when we noticed a little room filled with clocks, blueprints, and several saws. Janitors, I'm not sure what you're up to, but I'm slightly scared. MLIA

Today, I told my friend that I like to shower naked. She hit me with her purse, called me a pervert, and ran away. MLIA

This morning I spent 10 minutes waiting for my toast to pop up before I realized that the toaster wasn't plugged in. Oops. MLIA

Customers are Fun

You Be Difficult, I’ll Be Ditzy
Furniture Store | Oklahoma City, OK, USA

Me: “It’s a great day at [furniture store]! How can I direct your call?”
Caller: “I want to talk to someone about my furniture.”
Me: “Okay, is it just damaged, or did you want to set up a delivery?”
Caller: “No. I just want to talk to someone about it.”
Me: “Um… did you want to talk to your salesperson?”
Caller: “No. Just someone in the dining department.”
Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but our floor isn’t separated into departments.”
Caller: “I bought it about 2 years ago. I just want to talk about it.”
Me: “Did you want to talk about it with a manager?”
Caller: “No.”
Me: *stops caring* “Well, I would LOVE to talk about with you! Is it pretty?!”
Caller: “What?”
Me: “Furniture is good! It’s where people sit!”
Caller: *click*

Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day

"The President has Chuck Norris on speed dial...on the red phone "

Funny Pics
from the collection

***Now, if I saw I LIKE these shoes….what would you say?***

from the life & times of jessi bean

I am not generally prone to really bad allergies like a lot of people I know, but wow. I woke up and I felt like someone had stuffed old jello up my nose. Hopefully Brandon comes back with some good allergy medication from the cafeteria. Wait. How good CAN allergy medication be when it's from the cafeteria? Ughhhh. I sound all nasally.

Did I ever tell you about Mike the waiter? Steffi & I met him at IHOP. He quit. There is a slight possibility we may have traumatized him. Now he is a security guard somewhere. I want to know who thought it would be a good idea to give this guy a gun & handcuffs. Yes. This thought amuses me highly.

People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

Friday. IHOP. It's the last time I'll be seen out for a while. Hahahahabananahahaha. 11:15pm. Yupyup. :) Don't forget. Especially you, Mike, since you say you have a bad memory. Don't forget!

Thank you, Brandon, for picking me up some Theraflu @ the cafeteria.

There are little tiny silver stars all over the floor in A2 by Brian's area…. I am still 5 years old inside and terribly fascinated by shiny things. I am fighting a very strong urge to go pick them up and scatter them on my desk. I need glitter for my desk. Does anyone have any glitter that has NOT been walked on that they can sprinkle on my desk? I like glitter. I like shiny things. Yup. Still 5 years old.

Thanks, My Gal Friday, for the awesome pic.

Live…From California!!
from the adventures of SPA (my nephew & his friends)

I heard nothing from my nephew last night. Nothing. This worries me. John says it is probably because he is sleeping, but I know better. This IS my 17-year old nephew we are talking about. Sleeping. Ha.

Random Funnies

Top twenty things to do at a drive thru

Drive through the drive thru in reverse and let your passenger order.

Ask prices of everything on the menu then order something that you did not ask the price for.

Pretend like your window is broken. Tell the employee this. Order with your door open, pay with your door open. Roll down window and take food through the window.

Go to McDonalds and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.

Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels unwrapped.

Order in another language. Be careful what neighborhood you are in.

When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window shopping and drive on.

Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.

Ask how they fit into that little box.

If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on.

Demand to speak to the manager. When he comes on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said "May I take your order?"

When asked if they can take your order say "No, why can't I take yours?"

If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.

Pretend like your car broke down. Ask for assistance in moving it. When they come out, drive away.

Tell them you have to use the bathroom.

Order a cup of water and two napkins. That's it.

Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.

When they hand you your food, hand them a bag back with all the trash from your car in it.

Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.

Honk your horn the whole way through the line.

Learn from My Fail

Ladies, if you ever find yourself replacing old ceiling tiles, wear a normal T-shirt and maybe a hat. A low cut tank-top gives excellent access to a dead mouse. #LFMF

When putting up the new shelves in your kids room, make sure to keep your long beard away from the power drill. #LFMF

if a car battery is labeled "Do not turn upside down!" it is not because something funny is written under it. on a related note: acid stained jeans do not benefit from being put into the laundry, neither does anything else in there… #LFMF

Don’t use hand sanitizer before you cuff your cigarette to light it… your hand WILL light on fire. #LFMF

NEVER, under ANY circumstance, accept a "How many Taco Bell tacos can you eat in 5 minutes" challenge from your ‘friends’ especially the night before your 13 hour flight to Germany. They know what they’re doing. #LFMF

LFMF is not a list of challenges, dares and suggestions. #LFMF

A gulp is not a sufficient unit of measurement when it comes to cough syrup. In fact, one large gulp can lead to being awake at 4 am making new friends with shadow puppets. Always measure.

Thank you, thank you. I am here for all eternity. Have a terrific Tuesday!