Tuesday, May 11, 2010

May 10, 2010

I am heartbroken. I cannot believe the Spurs got swept. I cried. :(
So. How was everyone's weekend. I hope you all had fun despite the heartbreak. And all you moms, I hope you had a fantastic Mother's Day!


May is Healthy Vision Month, so go get your eyes checked!

This week is National Tourism Week so no harassing the tourists!

Today is Windmill Day. I detest this. Windmills terrify me. Strange and weird phobia? I know. I'm also afraid of open doors (while I'm sleeping).

Today in History

1503 Columbus discovers Cayman Islands
1752 Benjamin Franklins 1st tests the lightning rod
1797 1st Navy ship, the "United States," is launched
1930 1st US planetarium opens (Adler-Chicago)
1983 "Laverne & Shirley," last airs on ABC-TV
1996 "Twister" premieres
^Even though through my studies I found numerous flaws in this movie (as did almost everyone), I must admit, I still adore this movie.
"It's the extreme!"

Word of the Day

mugwump - a person who is unable to make up his or her mind on an issue, esp. in politics.
^who knew??

from the life & times of jessi bean

I had a beautiful Mother's Day, and I hope all you mothers out there did, too. My son got me a rose, a Starbuck's card (thank you, Nana, for knowing what I need!), a the cutest card ever. EVER! My dad made his (infamous) lime cake. Yes. Like CAKE. It is a thing of beauty. Also, my mother got me addicted to some Novella she had recorded…Passion de Galvanes or something like that. This is not fair. This is the same thing she did to me with Mi Pequena Traviesa. Please keep in mind that even though my mother is Hispanic, the only Spanish I know, regardless of taking 3 years of it in high school, are the phrases, greetings, etc. I picked up from working at Valero and dating someone who only spoke Spanish. I also got a lot of wonderful well wishes from friends & family! ♥

I meant to read Under the Dome (yes, Ted, I am still reading it. and yes, I know that for someone who read the entire Twilight series in four days, I am taking an awfully long time to go through it. It's John's fault.), but I didn't get around to that… I did, however, take a moment to take a picture of my favorite wildflowers:

Live…From California!!
from the adventures of SPA (my nephew & his friends)

So my nephew, my wonderful, adorable, sweet nephew who wished me a happy Mother's Day, loves to try to give me a heart attack by telling me the word gullible is on the ceiling and seeing how many more times I am going to look up. Xzavier, one day you're going to tell me you've picked up cigarettes or alcohol, and I will no longer believe you and give you a lecture on why I cannot condone that.

What are you going to find to amuse yourself then???

People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

Tell me about your weekend. Something funny had to have happened to SOMEONE!

Although, I have to admit I would love to know what epic fail prompted this sign to be put on the door to the patio from the cafeteria:

Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
why me?
Rushing, Jessi Y. says:
The forces of the universe know that you are involved in the dOrk fOrces, so the crazy stories gravitate toward you!


“I love what I do. Every day is different. I come to work and hang out with 13 to 17 of my friends.” ~Chris Crail

“We adore chaos because we love to produce order.” ~There was no reference. Does anyone know who said this?

from random friends, family, etc.

why did this customer just tell me he landed from mars? then he told me not to feed the aliens. what the heck? I now picture this customer as a little green creature with horns!!!!! did I mention he was watching something on the history channel or something about Mars. he said it was ALL wrong, and that's not how it is on Mars.
~My Gal Friday...Steffi Style


Parasomnias are a category of sleep disorders that involve abnormal and unnatural movements, behaviors, emotions, perceptions, and dreams that occur while falling asleep, sleeping, between sleep stages, or arousal from sleep. Most parasomnias are dissociated sleep states which are partial arousals during the transitions between wakefulness and NREM sleep, or wakefulness and REM sleep.


My Life is Average

Today, I saw a warning label on a baby folding chair that said, "Remove child before folding." I'm wondering what happened to make the company put that warning on the chair. MLIA

Today, I was walking into the office carrying my laptop, my power cord, and a few other things. Because my hands were full, I was unable to turn on the light, so I did what any normal person would do. I used my tongue. MLIA.

Today, I was buying popcorn at the mall. After I paid, I noticed their tip bucket. It was split in two, with one side that said 'Pirates' and the other side said 'Ninjas'. I feel like this is a very smart marketing strategy. MLIA

Today I had a piece of ice cream cake, and I think I enjoyed cutting it the most. Why? Because it had a picture of Kenny from South Park on it. Yes, that's right, I killed Kenny. MLIA

Learn from My Fail

Never assume that you are smart enough to take a bath while listening to your Ipod without dropping it in. Also, don’t expect Apple to understand. #LFMF

When your husband hand-cuffs you to the bed, make sure you can reach the key in case he runs out the door to head off your child that came home from a sleep over unexpectedly. #LFMF

Never clean off a 200° meat thermometer by running it between your lips. #LFMF

When you discover a bat flying around inside your house, don’t scream bloody murder and throw the phone across the room. The person who you were talking will probably think you’re actually being bloodily murdered and call the cops to your house. #LFMF

Customers are Fun

When Coffee Tastes Are Too Well Grounded
Coffee Shop Petersburg, IL, USA

Customer: “Where’s your normal coffee?”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “I just want a bag of normal coffee, not flavored.
Where’s your normal coffee?”
Me: “Oh, all of the coffees on the left side of the shelf are unflavored.”
Customer: “No, they’re all flavored. They all say different flavors, like ’Ethiopia’.”
Me: “No, those aren’t flavors. All the ones with a country name are just normal, black coffees like you want. The country name is where the coffee was grown.”
Customer: “What! There’s no such country as Ethiopia!”
Me: “Well, it’s very far away, in Africa.”
Customer: “If you say so. So the ones with country names aren’t flavored?”
Me: “Nope.”
Customer: “Fine. I’ll take the stuff from France.”
Me: “Coffee doesn’t grow in France…”
Customer: “Yeah, that French Vanilla.”

Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day

"The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide. "

Funny Pics
from the collection

^honestly, had I never seen this picture and I saw those….I would scream.
I would probably still scream. That's just…so…wrong.

Random Funnies

Thank you, thank you. I am here for all eternity.


Fortunes by Auburn Sunrise

come in the form
of coffee cups,
leaving rings
on this morning's
wrinkled newspaper.

I fear the words
family, friends, life
I lose something
in the panic
of wondering.

So I avoid
and try to forget
last night's dreams.

Light is Our Friend by FotoImpresje