Sunday, May 23, 2010

May 22, 2010


May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month.

Today is National Wig Out Day.

Today in History

1570 1st atlas, with 70 maps, published
1761 1st life insurance policy in US, issued in Phila
1849 Abraham Lincoln patents a buoying device
1868 Great Train Robbery-7 men (Reno Brother) make off with $98,000 in cash
1906 Wright Brothers patents an aeroplane
1954 Robert Zimmerman aka Bob Dylan is Bar Mitzvahed

Word of the Day

suspire - to utter with long, sighing breaths.
^as a poet, used this word a lot. I adore this word. it's so….poetic. as that was not. lolz

from the life & times of jessi bean

Another epic Friday with Scary Spice and My Gal Friday. Went to IHOP, went back to her apartment, watched 16 Candles (finally, after almost 28 years, I have seen that movie), listened to music, planned to get some sleep, watched Mean Girls instead, went to bed, rolled OUT of bed sometime around 10am, brought our red-eyes and bushy tails back to work because we adore this place so. freaking. much.

Yes. It was awesome. I feel like I am somewhat normal now that I have seen 16 Candles. So everyone who has been making fun of me because of the movies I HAVEN'T seen can cross that one off the list and move on to another movie, like, any of the Star Wars movies, Rambo movies, Terminator movies, Jason movies, and a whole list of apparent classics.


People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

Someone is parked SO wrong in the visitor parking. I mean, I can park kind of crooked sometimes, but that's just…. I mean, really. That's an EPIC fail of a park.
(I hope you don't get this e-mail)

Scary Spice's Song Promotion of the Day
(there ya go, Jan. got mahself a nicky-name. because My Gal Friday said I was scary spice for posting a pic of the scorpion that bit me up on FaceBook. or MySpace. one of them)

Coffee & Donuts by Kevin Rudolf
If You Leave Me Now by Chicago
Eight Second Ride by Jake Owen

Saturday Attempt to Work Bonus
Buleria by David Bisbal

My Gal Friday…Steffi Style Song Promotion of the Day

Babygirl by Sugarland
Country Girl by DF Dub
Baila Esta Cumbia by Selena

Saturday Attempt to Function Bonus
Radar Love by Golden Earring


“Happiness, that grand mistress of the ceremonies in the dance of life, impels us through all its mazes and meanderings, but leads none of us by the same route.”
~Charles Caleb Colton

“The loneliness was still there, but it was getting louder and easier to dance to.”
~I adore this quote, but alas, no author was noted. does anyone know who this is by?

“My life has been one great big joke, A dance that's walked, A song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke, When I think about myself.”
~Maya Angelou

“The dance is a poem of which each movement is a world.”
~Mata Hari - Dutch Dancer && Spy for the German Secret Service during WWII

from random friends, family, etc.

having a girls night in is always fun. especially when you see a random pickup truck with unknown occupants roll in about 5am, park *too close* to your bosses car, jump the curb while parking, said occupants stumble out of truck, and hide in the bushes giggling madly while taking a swig out of the bottle they had with them. and then in the morning: random truck is gone. you know it was a fun night
~My Gal Friday - Steffi Style~
^^Holy Steffi-ism, Steffi. That was hilarious. Sober people watching non-sober people is always funny. Funny thing, though, I never did see them come out of the bushes.


A lucid dream is a dream in which the sleeper is aware that he or she is dreaming. When the dreamer is lucid, he or she can actively participate in and often manipulate the imaginary experiences in the dream environment. Lucid dreams can seem extremely real and vivid depending on a person's level of self-awareness during the lucid dream.[1]

The term was coined by the Dutch psychiatrist and writer Frederik van Eeden (1860–1932).[2]

A lucid dream can begin in one of two ways. A dream-initiated lucid dream (DILD) starts as a normal dream, and the dreamer eventually concludes that he or she is dreaming, while a wake-initiated lucid dream (WILD) occurs when the dreamer goes from a normal waking state directly into a dream state with no apparent lapse in consciousness.

Lucid dreaming has been researched scientifically, and its existence is well established.[3][4]

Scientists such as Allan Hobson, with his neurophysiological approach to dream research, have helped to push the understanding of lucid dreaming into a less speculative realm.


My Life is Average

Today, in my spanish class I decided to look in the front of my textbook to see the interesting stuff that had been written there (we use a class set of books and have had them for a very long time). I found a half erased message saying "Justin Beiber is Fergalicious". I couldn't stop laughing. MLIA.

I was walking to a gas station with my best friend after a football game to wait for my mom when we saw a bunch of middle school wannabe gangsters. We kept looking over at them and cracking up at how they were dressed and talked, it looked like one was getting annoyed and he started to walk over... his pants actually fell on his walk over to us. Ahhhh the amusement. MLIA

Today my friend and I were pretending the floor was lava and she pushed me off my kitchen counter. As I was falling my brother's best friend caught me(the one who I like) and said he was happy I was falling for him. Guess who has a date Saturday?(: MLIA

Today in math, a kid in the back was mumbling to himself really loudly. He is a regular funny guy and trouble maker, so my teacher asked if he had anything to share with the class. He stood up and basically screamed, "YES. Clementines are just mini oranges!" My eyes are now open to those clementine imposters. MLIA
^I swear this sounds like my nephew. Huh. Stay tuned. I just know this is either my nephew or one of his friends. Has to be.

Today my parents met my boyfriend. We were throwing a dress up party and i pointed out my boyfriend to my parents, he was the 6'11" guy at the top of the stairs above us wearing a hot nurses outfit, miniskirt and platform goth boots. MLIA.

Learn from My Fail

** Word of warning to the unsuspecting cubicle folk!**
From Aimee Johnston - our first very own LFMF!!!!
If you share a workstation with other colleagues never run your hands along the underside of the desk, no matter how curious you are. EVER. LFMF.

Don’t assume that all printer cartridges are supposed to be shaken to extend their usability. Failing to do so will result in black toner all over you, the printer, carpet, desks, and worst of all, the intern you’re "training." Also, try not to instinctively wipe your face afterward either. #LFMF

When facing a tough decision, and you wife says "surprise me", always get whatever it is she wanted. #LFMF

When your lease agreement says guests can only stay three days, check and double check to make sure your landlord isn’t one of your friends on FaceBook before you post your status as "Whole family has been staying with me for 2 weeks & driving me crzy" #LFMF

Customers are Fun

When Common Sense Goes Naval Gazing
Military New York, NY, USA

(I serve on a Canadian Naval vessel, and while on an exercise our ship comes alongside in New York and offers tours to any civilians who wish to see the ship. I am on duty when a group of Americans come on board for a tour. At the end of the tour, one gentleman comes up to me.)
Tourist: “Excuse me, when does the ship leave?”
Me: “We’re in port for another two days before we head back to sea, sir.”
Tourist: “But we’re here today. Can’t we take the tour now?”
Me: “I beg your pardon, sir? Didn’t you just take the tour?”
Tourist: “We saw the ship, but when do we go to [town the ship is named after]?”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry sir, but the tours are of the ship only.”
Tourist: “But when do you sail to [town name]?”
Me: “Well, we actually can’t, sir, because that town isn’t on the ocean.”
Tourist: “Well, that’s stupid! How are we supposed to sail there? Never mind, where is the ship going next then, and when do we have to be here?”
Me: “Well, if you’d like to watch us leave, we will be shoving off around 10 o’clock on Sunday, sir.”
Tourist: “And where are we going then?”
Me: “Well, I can’t disclose where the ship is sailing next due to operational security, sir.”
Tourist: “Then how are we supposed to get back?”
(Thankfully at this point the man’s wife jumps in.)
Tourist’s Wife: “This isn’t a cruise you moron! We just came to see the ship!”
Tourist: *to me* “Well why didn’t you say that? Are you Canadians all stupid or something? No wonder we beat the crap out of you in the war! If you didn’t surrender to everyone that waved a gun at you, you probably wouldn’t be so stupid!”
(The tourist storms off the ship.)
Tourist’s Wife: “I…um…yeah. May I have one of those free hats, please?”

Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day

"M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this. "

Funny Pics
from the collection

^^The CAPTION to this is: "Three Days Later He Had an Aneurysm" ^^

Thank you, thank you. I am here for all eternity.