Sunday, May 2, 2010

May 2, 2010

Good evening, my lovelies.

I hope you had a beautiful Sunday. There is nothing quite like Springtime in South Central Texas. It is beautiful, and the scent of the mountain laurel is just so incredible. The flowers on the side of the road - phlox, bluebonnets, etc.

Song Promotion
Pain by Three Days Grace
Break by Three Days Grace

Today in History

1780 - William Herschel discovers 1st binary star, Xi Ursae Majoris
1885 - "Good Housekeeping" magazine is 1st published
1980 - Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in Wall (Part II)" is banned in S Africa
1998 - 124th Kentucky Derby

Random Funnies

Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?
Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!
Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you ask the question?
Johnny: It's because I saw one on daddy's lettuce, but now it's gone.


"He is happiest who hath power to gather wisdom from a flower.” ~Mary Howitt

“Just living is not enough... One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” ~Hans Christian Andersen

"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.” ~Oscar Wilde

Chuck Norris Factoid

"The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep. "


***May is Motorcycle Safety Month***

***May 2-9, 2010 is National Wildflower Week***

Today is National Play Your Ukelele Day and World Laughter Day

Word of the Day

sesquipedalianism - given to using long words.

My Life is Average

My 4 year old son and I were playing in the sandbox. While we were playing we heard this terribly loud rustling noise in the bushes behind us. After about 15 minutes of this noise, I finally asked my son- "What is that noise?!" To which he replied very matter-of-factly- "That's the sound of the money you'd be saving if you switched to Geico." MLIA.

Today, I was sitting on the computer reading MLIA when my leg started itching. As I went to scratch it I realized that I REALLY needed to shave my legs. Then I remembered that I just shaved them yesterday so I looked at my other leg. Turns out I only shaved my left leg, twice. MLIA

Today, I was looking through my documents on my computer. I often just use documents to check my spelling. I found a document that contained only the words; substantial playtypus apocalypes. I have no clue what I needed those words for, but I'm kinda scared. MLIA

Learn from My Fail

When you hear a noise in the bathroom and come around the corner with your pistol ready, make sure that the man pointing the gun at you is NOT in the mirror before pulling the trigger. #LFMF

Never laugh while using Listerine. Ever. It shot out my nose and I don’t actually remember what happened next the pain was so intense. My sinuses were never clearer though! #LFMF

When your mother tells you she is going to be on the news tonight, make sure you find out why before you tell anyone. Try explaining to your grandparents why you asked them to tune in to your mother flashing! #LFMF

Text Faux Pas

(303) just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals

(270) I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.

(603) You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"

(207) Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
(617) I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11

(207) I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it

(617) We call that spaghetti Os

Have a spectacular Sunday!