Friday, May 21, 2010

May 20, 2010

If you saw me laughing like an idiot at my desk and laughed because I looked like an idiot, I was laughing at today's Learn From My Fails. Yupyup.


May is National Meditation Month.

This week is EMS Week.

Today is Eliza Doolittle Day.

Today in History

1310 Shoes were made for both right & left feet
1830 D Hyde patents fountain pen
1892 George Sampson patents clothes dryer
1944 US Communist Party dissolves

Word of the Day

plucky - having or showing courage.

from the life & times of jessi bean

I eat, then I smoke. I drive, then I smoke. I watch a movie, then I smoke. I write a poem, then I smoke. I work, I smoke. I work, I smoke. I wake up, I smoke.
Except now, there is no ellipse after my actions in which I am moving to light up a cigarette outside. And I am so confused. It's…throwing me off balance and it feels unnatural. I've been smoking for so long it's like a second nature and also I don't have the nicotine and all the poisons they put in cigarettes slowing me down so I am way hyper and barely got any sleep last night and I am bouncing off the walls and nervous ticks and aggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

And I know this is so mushy and no one cares, but…here is #1234325345456546 of the reasons I love him:
(yes, that is a made up number, but I have no doubt that I could come up with that many reasons)
We watched Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, then Twilight, then had a conversation about how I need to watch the Rambo movies. He's so eclectic. Just. Like. Me. :)

People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

THANK YOU!!!! Suzette Santiago!!!

Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
customer: one more question before i go
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
me: okay, sir
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
customer: why did the policeman arrest the baseball player?
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
me: chuckles.....asked, why?
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
customer: because he stole second base!
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
me: LoLoL!
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
customer: thanks for your help, have a GREAT day!!!
Rushing, Jessi Y. says:
Are you serious?
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
yes ma'am
Rushing, Jessi Y. says:
You get the most awesome calls, I swear.
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
Rushing, Jessi Y. says:
My awesome call was a guy telling me to look up a jazz singer with the last name of Rushing, which I have yet to do, and a 5 minute explanation of why I cannot add a customer to my FaceBook.
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
some of these people i'd like to just look up on FB to see what they look like - you know - confirm the image i have of them painted in my head!
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
holy steffi.ism!!!!
Rushing, Jessi Y. says:
that is awesome.
Rushing, Jessi Y. says:

Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
two in one day.....
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
i'm on a roll
Rushing, Jessi Y. says:
can i put both in?
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:
yes ma'am
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:

Rushing, Jessi Y. says:
Rushing, Jessi Y. says:
i am laughing out loud at my desk and i think people are looking at me weird
Rushing, Jessi Y. says:
and then my boss & boss' boss just walked out and saw my face red from laughing.
Rushing, Jessi Y. says:
Mueller, Stephanie A. says:

Scary Spice's Song Promotion of the Day
(there ya go, Jan. got mahself a nicky-name. because My Gal Friday said I was scary spice for posting a pic of the scorpion that bit me up on FaceBook. or MySpace. one of them)

Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman
Paralyzer by Finger Eleven
Closer by NIN

The Week's Almost Over Bonus
Addicted by Saving Abel

My Gal Friday…Steffi Style Song Promotion of the Day

Scars by Allison Iraheta
Complicated by Avril Lavigne
Stay by Sugarland

The Week's Almost Over Bonus
Dancing with Myself by Billy Idol

Nick Ramos' Song Promotion of the Day

Sara Smile by Hall & Oates

Ryan Driscoll's Song Promotion of the Day

Little Red Corvette by Prince

Keith Howell's Song Promotion of the Day

Purple Rain by Prince


“It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.” ~Frederick Douglass

“Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunder-storm or blare of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year. Even when a new century begins it is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols.” ~Thomas Mann

from random friends, family, etc.

"I'll be good."

is it a coincidence that the Chicken Dance keeps popping up on my life? i think not!! LoL!


In Norse mythology, Yggdrasil (pronounced /ˈɪɡdrəsɪl/; from Old Norse Yggdrasill, pronounced [ˈyɡːˌdrasilː]) is an immense tree that is central in Norse cosmology; the world tree, and around the tree exist nine worlds. It is generally considered to mean "Ygg's (Odin's) horse".

Yggdrasil is attested in the Poetic Edda, compiled in the 13th century from earlier traditional sources, and the Prose Edda, written in the 13th century by Snorri Sturluson. In both sources, Yggdrasil is an immense ash tree that is central and considered very holy. The gods go to Yggdrasil daily to hold their courts. The branches of Yggdrasil extend far into the heavens, and the tree is supported by three roots that extend far away into other locations; one to the well Urðarbrunnr in the heavens, one to the spring Hvergelmir, and another to the well Mímisbrunnr. Creatures live within Yggdrasil, including the wyrm (dragon) Níðhöggr, an unnamed eagle, and the stags Dáinn, Dvalinn, Duneyrr and Duraþrór.

Conflicting scholarly theories have been proposed about the etymology of the name Yggdrasill, the possibility that the tree is of another species than ash, the relation to tree lore and to Eurasian shamanic lore, the possible relation to the trees Mímameiðr and Læraðr, Hoddmímis holt, the sacred tree at Uppsala, and the fate of Yggdrasil during the events of Ragnarök.


My Life is Average

Today I read the warning labels on my new hair straitener. Apparently, now people have to be warned not to try and straighten their eyelashes, eyebrows, and tongues. MLIA

Today, I while at home, my phone rang. When I picked up the phone, the only thing I could hear on the other line was the sound of applause. Then they hung up. I'm confused. MLIA

Today, my puppy lifted up her paw to shake, so I shook it and let it go. She lifted up her paw again. I shook it again and let it go. She lifted up her paw a third time. I grabbed her paw and held onto it. She seemed content. I've come to the conclusion that my puppy just wants to hold hands. MLIA

Learn from My Fail

If your husband works from home, always verify that he’s not quietly screen sharing and conferencing with someone. When you come up behind said husband to "spice up his day," his snarky partner can hear you, and will beg you to continue in his most lecherous of voices. #LFMF

If you hold kitty’s food dish 2 feet above her head, and wave it around teasing "You want noms? You want noms?" then any injuries you receive are well-deserved. #LFMF

Keep in mind that Red Bull poured into a plastic cup looks an awful lot like beer. The officer who pulls you over for speeding will not think it’s ridiculous that someone would be drinking and driving in 6:30 AM morning rush hour traffic. You will have to perform a breathalyzer. Also – yelling "I’m blowing!" isn’t the proper response to "Blow harder into the machine" #LFMF

When your Mother in Law comes over to babysit so your husband can take you out for a birthday dinner, don’t hide your dirty dishes in the oven. She may decide to turn on the oven to bake you a cake. #LFMF

Customers are Fun

Stupidity Bytes
Retail Tennessee, USA

Me: “Thanks for coming in! Anything I can help you find today?”
Customer: “I need the internet.”
Me: “Okay. You need to get connected to the internet at your house?”
Customer: “No! I need the internet, idiot. Don’t you guys sell them here with lots of gigglebites and dial-up modems and the like?”
Me: “You need a computer tower then? We have plenty of those.”
Customer: “No! I need the internet! My friend has an internet and its fast and has 10 gigglebites.”
Me: “Okay, I will do everything I can to help you. I would also recommend you grab a copy of one of our guides that should be a great help.”
(I show him a copy of Computers for Dummies.)
Customer: “Does it come with the internet?”

Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day

"The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bulletproof. "

Funny Pics
from the collection

^Sorry. I love those.

Thank you, thank you. I am here for all eternity.