May 3, 2010

Welcome to a new month. That whole April showers bring May flowers thing? Yeah. Let's apply that to here! I know, well, I at least, had a horrible month of April, so hopefully May will bloom. Yay! Let's make San Antonio #1 site in Chase, yeah? It's Salsa Month, too. Don't forget that. Keith, if you actually read these, can we get a Salsa Day here? Please? With Salsa on top? Hahahabananahaha. Oh, and to those who receive this at other locations, I am sorry. I ♥ you all, but….San Antonio is going to be #1!

Also, the Spurs are playing tonight! I can be a fan of many teams, but my Spurs are #1. :) Go Spurs, Go!

Today's guffawing was caused by the first on the Learn From My Fail. O. M. G.

Read a book. Like… "House of Leaves" by Mark Danielewski. Your perception of reality (and your sleep) will never be the same again.



Song promotion of the day -
Paralyzer by Finger Eleven
Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman


My Gal Friday…Steffi Style Song Promotion of the Day-
Landslide by Stevie Nicks


Today in History
from www.todayinhistory.com

1494 - Jamaica discovered by Columbus; he names it "St Iago"
1765 - 1st US medical college opens in Philadelphia
1810 - Lord Byron swims Hellespont
1902 - 28th Kentucky Derby: Jimmy Winkfield on Alan-a-Dale wins in 2:08.75
1921 - West Virginia imposes 1st state sales tax
***Thanks a LOT West Virginia`***
1952 - 1st landing by an airplane at geographic North Pole
1965 - 1st use of satellite TV, Today Show on Early Bird Satellite



Quotes
from www.thinkexist.com

Today's quotes are all by Lord George Gordon Byron. Truly a fascinating individual.

"If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad."

“Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey.”

“Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life.”

“The heart will break, but broken live on.”

“When we two parted / In silence and tears,/ Half broken-hearted / To sever for years, / Pale grew thy cheek and cold, / Colder thy kiss;/ Truly that hour foretold / Sorrow to this.”



Quotes
from random friends, family, etc.

"I wish I could close everyone here, so that we could all have a copy so we could actually sit back and relax while the clone does all the work. Now that is what I call a great society!"
~Kenneth Beach



Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

jnana - absolute insight acquired through study.


Holidaze
from www.brownielocks.com

May is Creative Beginnings Month.
This week is National Family Week

Today is Garden Meditation Day, Two Different Colored Shoes Day, Paranormal Day, and World Press Freedom Day.

And heads up - tomorrow is Star Wars Day. So. If anyone wants to dress up. Let me know. So I can take pics. Yes.



My Life is Average
www.mylifeisaverage.com

Today, I called the M&M hotline and told them that all of my M&Ms had W's on them. She quickly apologized and is sending me a complimentary box of them. MLIA

Last night I was watching one of my favorite shows, 1000 ways to die. Then I noticed a flaw. The guy who was meant to be dead blinked. MLIA.
**So, Terri told me about an episode of this, and just....the way she told it had me almost falling over laughing. It was about a girl who went to Mexico for cheap surgery and then died on the flight back. I mean, it's not funny. Because she died. But still. Who saw this episode?**

Today I was writing an essay for school. it was getting very late and I feel asleep. I woke up to see thousands of ZZZ's across the screen. I had fallen asleep pressing the Z key. MLIA
**Get it?? Hahaha. Z's. For sleeping? Get it?!**

Today I woke up at 1:00 in the morning to the sound of the 6-year-old girl I babysit yelling everything from my shoe size to my phone number at 3 teenage guys across the street. Thank you Molly for supplying me with 3 new stalkers. MLIA.




Customers are Fun
from www.notalwaysright.com

Safe To Assume There Are No Insecurities Here
Call Center | Los Angeles, CA, USA

(After taking the customer's name, phone number, credit card info.)
Me: “To finish creating your account, I need an answer to a reminder question. In what city were you born?”
Customer: “That is way too personal.”
Me: “Okay. We have a few other questions. What is your pet’s name? What is your favorite television show? What is your favorite pastime?”
Customer: “Ask me my favorite pastime.”
Me: “What is your favorite pastime?”
Customer: “Making loooooooove.”



Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day
from www.chucknorrisfactoids.com

"Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. "

Funny Pics
from the www.icanhascheezburger.com collection










** about the shoes….if I weren't so appalled, I would be falling out of my chair laughing. **



Personal
from the life & times of jessi bean

So, yesterday I was at my mom's house with my son, and my sister is here visiting from Beeville, and she hasn't seen me in a while. Well, my son, who thinks that me walking with the cane is not walking at all, grabs my cane away from my and tells my sister "Look! She can walk without this!" and runs off with my crutch. Ha ha ha.

He is just too cute.

Also, I need some....glucosomine chondroiten (I probably so spelled that wrong). My bones and joints....they SCREAM! And no, Mike...not for ice cream. :)

My beautiful desk.


I need some plant food. Maybe some soil. It looks like it needs to be transplanted.


ZOMG! Steffi! I found your lime!


Actually, it came from my nomnomnoms for today…





People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

Friday. IHOP. It's the last time I'll be seen out for a while. Hahahahabananahahaha. 11:15pm. Yupyup. :) Don't forget. Especially you, Mike, since you say you have a bad memory. Don't forget!

@Mat & Bryan, whose facial hair has been majorly cut back….
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:: cries silently at desk in mourning of long beards ::

@Ryan - Keith said to get with you so you can get with all your peers and we can plan a salsa day....maybe even a salsa contest. Yes. This is awesome. Don't tell me no or I will pull out my hypnotizing kit, complete with the swirly eye glasses, stone on a string, cobra in a basket, and the whole "you are getting very sleeeeeeepy" thing.




Live…From California!!
from the adventures of SPA (my nephew & his friends)

I asked for something funny from his adventures, and he told me about how he jumped off a pier and into the water and almost drowned and his friend pulled him out of the water, screaming and panicking…
I am still trying to figure out how this is funny.



Random Funnies
from www.ahajokes.com





Learn from My Fail
from www.learnfrommyfail.com


Never assume it’s safe to leave your hyper dog in a running vehicle. He can (and will) manage to knock it into reverse, hitting the steering wheel, and back it in a full 180 degree bend into the neighboring building. Try explaining that one to the police and insurance company. #LFMF.

Just because it looks like Parmesan cheese, if it doesn’t melt in the microwave it probably is something else. On the plus side coconut shavings taste great on meatballs. #LFMF

Sometimes the last word of a sentence will get you attacked. Especially when you’re surrounded by Twilight fangirls and say "I’m team Edward… Scissorhands." #LFMF

Never, ever tailgate 4 Hells Angels on the freeway. #LFMF

Before you speed up to try to get past that light that just turned yellow, double check that it is not the intersection that you want to turn at. #LFMF

When planning on going on a hunting trip right after work, it is best to leave your rifle locked in the car, and not carry it across the street to the high rise office building you work in, on the day the President of the U.S. is going to be at the hotel right next door. The Secret Service will ask you many, many, many questions. #LFMF






Thank you, thank you. I am here for all eternity. Have a marvelous, magnificent Monday.

♥jessi