June 1, 2010

Welcome to JUNE!!! Enter with a bang.



I want to take a moment to promote my friend's blog.
Click here to read it
His latest entry is about child abuse/violence. It is disturbing and heartbreaking. And intelligent. So, Aaron Chandler, here's your promotion because your blog touched me that much.



Scary Spice's Songz

Have You Ever Seen the Rain by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Alabama by Cross Canadian Ragweed
Bela Lugosi is Dead by Bauhaus

Tuesday Bonus
Tomorrow by Sixx AM



Scruffles' Songz

About a Girl by Nirvana
Get the Funk Outta Ma Face by The Brothers Johnson
Somebody Told Me by the Killers

Tuesday Bonus
All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You by Heart



Aaron Chandler's Songz

Tongue Tied from the show Red Dwarf
Trapped in the Drive Thru by Weird Al
Chihuahua by DJ BoBo

Tuesday Bonus
Ding Ding Dong by Gunther




Holidaze
from www.brownielocks.com

June is Adopt a Shelter Cat Month!!

June 1 is National Go Barefoot Day && Say Something Nice Day!!



Today in History
from www.todayinhistory.com

1495 1st written record of Scotch Whiskey appears in Exchequer Rolls of Scotland, Friar John Cor is the distiller
^Epic.
1792 Kentucky admitted as 15th US state
1796 Tennessee admitted as 16th US state
1808 1st US land-grant university founded-Ohio Univ, Athens, Ohio
1813 Capt John Lawrence utters Navy motto "Don't give up the ship
1843 It snows in Buffalo & Rochester NY & Cleveland Ohio
^Not important? Think about what day it is.
1880 US census at 50,155,783
1890 US census at 62,622,250
1938 Superman 1st appears in DC Comics' Action Comics Series issue #1




Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

threnody - a poem, speech, or song of lamentation, esp for the dead.



Personal
from the life & times of jessi bean
♥jmb♥

zomg!
My good friend, and excellent poet, Janeece, has allowed me to be the one to write her biography. I am epically honored.
Read her poetry here.
Wow.

♥john♥ will be here Wednesday night. yayz!





In the Spotlight
from the life & times of YOU!!

My nephew, Jake Flanders, is now on FaceBook. HA! We are gaining on you, MySpace. Oh wait. FB trumps MS any day. If you search him, he is the one with the spiky colorful face thing. Yeah.



Quotes
from http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/miscsong.html

"All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be." ~Breathe by Pink Floyd

"And if she asks you why you can tell her that I told you that I'm tired of Castles in the Air." ~Castles in the Air by Don McLean

"And the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls, and tenement halls, and whispered in the sounds of silence." ~Sounds of Silence by Paul Simon




Quotes
from random family, friends, overheard conversations, etc.

"Would you love a monsterman (monsterwoman in a guy's case), could you understand, the beauty of the beast?"
~from Lordi as requested by Scruffles (Xzavier)




WikiWikiWikiWiki
from www.wikipedia.org

A Jenny Haniver is the carcass of a ray or a skate which has been modified and subsequently dried, resulting in a grotesque preserved specimen.

One suggestion for the origin of the term was the French phrase jeune d'Anvers ('young [person] of Antwerp'). British sailors "cockneyed" this description into the personal name "Jenny Hanvers." They are also widely known as "Jenny Haviers".

For centuries, sailors sat on the Antwerp docks and carved these "mermaids" out of dried skates. They then preserved them further with a coat of varnish. They supported themselves by selling their artistic creations to working sailors as well as to tourists visiting the docks.

Jenny Hanivers have been created to look like devils, angels and dragons. Some writers have suggested the sea monk may have been a Jenny Haniver.




Nifty Websites

SEED
A truly fascinating website about science.



My Life is Average
from www.mylifeisaverage.com

Today, I learned that the prefix "sham" means fake. Apparently, I've been washing my hair with fake poo for sixteen years. MLIA

Friday night, my friends and I went out to eat. After eating we all went out to Dairy Queen for some desert. I had bought a bouncy ball from the place we had eaten so we were bouncing it off the table and trying to make cool shots. One of my friends hadn't had a turn to bounce it yet so I gave her the ball and said "Let's see what you got!" She proceeded to bounce it off of an empty bowl, off of the table, and straight into the open mouth of our other friend. She is officially a ninja. MLIA

Today, I woke up and there was a bagel under my pillow. There was also a banana in my toilet. I live alone. What? MLIA

The other day i wore my "I only date ninjas" shirt to school for the first time. The guy i REALY like came up to me and said "is that so"? then walked away. The next day he came up to me in a ninja holloween costume and said "now do i quallify to date you"? he is perfect.:D

Today I watched a German movie, with English subtitles... on the French channel. MLIA.




Learn From My Fail
from www.learnfrommyfail.com

If you find a dead carpenter bee in the garage and take it in the house so the kids can see it up close and not be afraid of them anymore, be prepared to have at least one of the children cry for half an hour over the dead bee. #LFMF

when using the disabled toilet because the other is in use, the big red cord is NOT the flush cord. #LFMF

Just because Violet Beauregarde says she sticks her gum behind her ear for safekeeping, it does not mean it’s a good idea. #LFMF




Text Faux Pas
from www.textsfromlastnight.com

(949):
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.

(781):
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.

(440):
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.

(412):
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.

(810):
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs



Customers are Fun
from www.notalwaysright.com

No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 4
Call Center | Ohio, USA

(After unlocking the caller’s account and beginning to explain when it can be used.)
Me: “Okay, sir. The account will be unlocked in a half hour.”
Caller: “Okay, I’m in Florida, where y’all located?”
Me: “Sir, we are in Ohio.”
Caller: “Okay. So is that 30 minutes Central or 30 minutes Eastern?”



Chuck Norris!
from www.chucknorrisfacts.com

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.



The 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon

"Henry Rollins"

Henry Rollins was in Johnny Mnemonic with Keanu Reeves.
Keanu Reeves was in Something's Gotta Give with Paul Glaser.
Paul Glaser was in The Air Up There with Kevin Bacon.



Random Video Hilarity
from www.youtube.com

Thank you, Aaron Chandler, for finding this for me!
((WAIT FOR ITT.........................)))





Funny Pics
from the www.icanhascheezburger.com collection



see more Lolcats and funny pictures

see more

see more Lol Celebs

May 31, 2010

I am sleep-deprived & zoombehfied. (Thank you, Scruffles.)
So. If I messed up, please forgive me.

I need sleep.



Scary Spice's Songz

Johnny Cash by Jason Aldean
Nickajack Cave by Gary Allan
Johnny and June by Heidi Newfield

Monday Bonus
Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash

Memorial Day Bonus
Devils and Dust by Bruce Springsteen


Scruffles' Songz

Jenny Was a Friend of Mine by the killers
Time to Dance by Panic! At the Disco
Skulls by the Misfits

Monday Bonus
Scream by the Misfits




Holidaze
from www.brownielocks.com

*****Today is Memorial Day*****

Today is also World No-Tobacco Day.



Today in History
from www.todayinhistory.com

1678 Lady Godiva rode naked through Coventry in a protest of taxes
1790 US copyright law enacted
1868 First Memorial Day parade held in Ironton, Ohio
1884 Dr John Harvey Kellogg patents "flaked cereal"
1907 Taxis first began running in NYC
1917 First jazz record released (Dark Town Strutters Ball)
1941 First issue of "Parade" goes on sale
1985 41 tornadoes hit Northeast US, killing 88 (in Penn, Ohio, & NY)



Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

scuttle - to run with quick, hasty steps; scurry



Personal
from the life & times of jessi bean
♥jmb♥

So I attempted to write more in my book. That did not work out well, at all. But I did get offered the chance to write a biography for a good friend of mine. That is definitely an epic plus.

I pulled some cheats online for Scooby-Doo Night of 100 Frights. Something like that. As well as for Lego Star Wars. Yes, my son is playing video games. And I am listening to Chris LeDoux's This Cowboy's Hat.

I found a song called "North Dakota" by Chris Knight (singer, songwriter). It is...flooring. I don't know quite how to describe this song. Beautiful, haunting, raw, emotional. It is amazing.

I found her on the first warm day
The rain had washed the snow away
Went for wood and lost her way back home
And I ain’t the kind believes in ghosts
But some nights I get pretty close
When the North Dakota winter moans
When the North Dakota winter moans



Find more about Chris Knight at his website.




In the Spotlight
from the life & times of YOU!!

My sister, Lynette, is having some serious fun over there! Let's see. Will is getting married! Robert & Jessica are about to welcome little Maddie into the world. And! There's talk that she is moving to Las Vegas! You go, sis. I love you!



Quotes
from www.imdb.com

from the movie Fried Green Tomatoes (my all-time favorite movie)

A heart can be broken, but it will keep beating just the same. ~Ninny Threadgoode

You are absolutely, unconditionally, positively the most stubborn person I've ever known in my life! ~Grady Kilgore

See, now is a time for courage. I guess you already know that there are angels masquerading as people walking around this planet and your mom was the bravest one of those. ~Idgie Threadgoode



Quotes
from random family, friends, overheard conversations, etc.

"YOU ARE AN ORANGE"
~Scruffles (Xzavier)



WikiWikiWikiWiki
from www.wikipedia.org

Government Conspiracy Theories

The Philadelphia Experiment
The Philadelphia Experiment is the conspiracy theory regarding a naval military experiment at the Philadelphia Naval Shipyard in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA, sometime around October 28, 1943, in which the U.S. Navy destroyer escort USS Eldridge was to be rendered invisible (i.e., cloaked) to human observers for a brief period of time. That is also referred to sometimes as Project Rainbow.

Montauk Project
The Montauk Project was alleged to be a series of secret United States government projects conducted at Camp Hero or Montauk Air Force Station on Montauk, Long Island for the purpose of developing psychological warfare techniques and exotic research including time travel. Jacques Vallée[1] describes allegations of the Montauk Project as an outgrowth of stories about the Philadelphia Experiment.

Great books to read:
Footprints of God by Greg Iles
The Philadelphia Experiment by William L Moore and
Charles Berlitz




Nifty Websites

Urban Dictionary
Sample
intexticated - describes people who drive while sending text messages on their phones.



My Life is Average
from www.mylifeisaverage.com

Last night I heard my brother get 'The Talk'. From his 6 year old son. MLIA

Today, me and my friend were looking a Facebook group called "IF i miss 11/11/11 11:11:11 I will be pissed". She looked confused, gasped and

asked me "WHEN IS THAT?" MLIA.

Today, I jokingly asked my elderly nerdy physics teacher if he had ever been in a gang...to which he replied "back in the day, me and a couple puerto ricans would go around and cause some mischief." I will never look at him the same again. MLIA

Today, I realized that the pokemon Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres end with uno, dos, tres. I didn't know pokemon were Spanish. MLIA

Today, my mother informed me that I was conceived in China. Even though I really didn't need to know that, now I kind of want a tattoo that says "Made in China"...MLIA



Learn From My Fail
from www.learnfrommyfail.com

If it looks like a potato, and acts like a potato, there is the distinct possibility that it is a moldy kiwi. #LFMF

If you have an indoor/outdoor cat who likes to hunt, keep your bedroom very clean. It will make finding the rotting, dead chipmunk she hid there much easier… #LFMF

Whether your parents know you are coming home at 3 am or not, do not use a flashlight to find the lock on the door. You mother will attack you with a rolling pin. #LFMF

When licking your finger to get a smudge off your child, NEVER re-lick your finger if it turns out to be stubborn. Also, never assume just because it’s on the arm, it’s not poop. #LFMF



Text Faux Pas
from www.textsfromlastnight.com

(720):
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers

(815):
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.

(714):
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock




Customers are Fun
from www.notalwaysright.com

Pause For (Lack Of) Thought
Fast Food | Waukesha, WI, USA

Me: “Thank you for calling [Fast Food Restaurant]. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Yea, I’m calling about the nuts you put in my son’s ice cream.”
Me: “Um, sir, we don’t sell ice cream here.”
Caller: “Yeah, you did. I came in last night.”
Me: “Sir, this is [Fast Food Restaurant]. We don’t serve ice cream here.”
Caller: “Yeah, you do. For 49 cents. And you put nuts in my son’s ice cream! I’d like to speak to your manager!”
Me: “You’re speaking to her.”
Caller: “Oh, and you said you don’t serve ice cream here?”
Me: “No sir, we don’t. I think you needed the number for [other restaurant] across the street.”
Caller: You own both the restaurants?
Me: “No sir, we don’t. We’re just us.”
Caller: *long pause* “So what kind of desserts do you sell there?”
Me: “Cinnamon Twists.”
Caller: “I hate those things. What else you got?”
Me: “Cinnamon Twists. That’s it.”
Caller: “I heard you say that! What else do you have?”
Me: “That’s it.”
Caller: *longer pause* “Well, can you concoct something for me if I came in?”
Me: “No, sir, we can’t do that.”
Caller: “Oh…”
Me: “Was there anything else you needed help with?”
Caller: “No. Just to clarify, you don’t sell ice cream?”
Me: “That’s right.”
Caller: *long pause* “You should probably hang up now.”



Chuck Norris!
from www.chucknorrisfacts.com

Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.



The 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon

"Channing Tatum"

Channing Tatum acted in A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints with Shia LaBeouf
Shia LaBeouf acted in The Battle of Shaker Heights with Kathleen Quintan
Kathleen QUintan acted in Apollo 13 with Kevin Bacon

^Ummm....grrr.



Funny Pics
from the www.icanhascheezburger.com collection





see more

see more





Bwa ha ha
Any suggestions? Let me know. Coming soon: Awkward? Or Not? from Scruffles & pals.

May 30, 2010

I know I already went through the whole "this is the first edition of the second style of dOrk fOrces" or something like that, but...
This is the first revamped issue.
Oh hell. Who am I kidding? I am just playing around with this DF blog thing because it's fun and I can.


**Carl Poole!....if you read this...that whole "How to Save Money" thing you posted on your status...yeah. How long you think you can come up with those? Cuz that was funny...**


The songs are being moved to the top of the page now, just in case you want to pull up the songs and listen to them while you are intaking your daily dose of dOrk.


MuZaK

Scary Spice's Songz

I Know You Want Me (Calla Ocho) by Pitbull
Hair In My Eyes Like a Highland Steer by Corb Lund
My Tree by Snoop Dogg

Sunday Remix
Losing My Religion - Arthur Project & Mike Tsoff Remix


Scruffles' Songz

We Ran Out of CD Space by Psychostick
Ring My Bell by Anita Ward
Jive Talkin' by Bee Gees




Holidaze
from www.brownielocks.com

5/9-6/20 is National Family Week.
Those who are close to me have lost those close to them recently. Don't forget to tell the ones you love that, well, you know. That you love them.

***Today is HUG YOUR CAT DAY***



Today in History
from www.todayinhistory.com

1868 Memorial Day 1st observed when 2 women in Columbus Mississippi placed flowers on both Confederate & Union graves

1908 First federal workmen's compensation law approved
1967 Robert "Evel" Knievel's motorcycle jumps 16 automobiles
1971 36 hospitalized during Grateful Dead concert; drunk LSD apple juice




Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

epoch - the beginning of a distinctive period in history



Personal
from the life & times of jessi bean
♥JMB♥

All day long I have been questioning the how of why I am awake. And yet, here I am, still awake. I am listening to remixes of Metallica, REM, and Sarah McLachlan on YouTube. I took a 15 minute doze earlier whilst watching Penguins of Madagascar with my son, but then I was awakened and got a second wind. That second wind has long since been hammered from me and I am just running on pure desire to not sleep.

Dang. I can be so stubborn.

Also, I stretched and possibly tore some scar tissue in my feet. It feels at once like I have multiple lacerations on my feet, as well as a possible dousing in rubbing alcohol followed by a lit match.
Owwie.

Oh yeah. Have a movie suggestion. Dragon Hunters. It's a cartoon/movie. With a purple bunny, wanna-be knights, and a precoscious little princess. I love that movie. It. Is. Epic.



In the Spotlight
from the life & times of....YOU!!

Okay. Since I am no longer sending these out from my work e-mail, please contact me either at jysp1982@myspace.com, spydurpoet@gmail.com, or on FaceBook. On FaceBook you'll have to search me out under spydurpoet@yahoo.com

Send me your stories, your experiences, your "get this" moments (thanks, Stef-sis), your "awkward!" moments (thanks, Scruffles), and whatever and whatnot jazz and glitter you feel needs to go down in history because it is the epic-ness of your dailies that break the monotony of ours.

Don't forget pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I am drunk on lack of SLEEP so if that made no sense, it probably didn't. But you get the gist, yeah?



Quotes
from http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=149998542119

^Yeah. So liked that.
I won't be posting from there in the future, but I had to let ya'll know it is out there. :)

What's the use? I shall never be shaking my booty or anything else ever again. What´s the point? It's not the same without my Lemmy. ~King Julian

This is the most advanced encryption I've ever seen. It's got sudoku with fractions! ~Kowalski

In case of a loss of oxygen, please place your masks over your faces to hide your terrified expressions from the other passengers. ~Private




Quotes
from random family, friends, overheard conversations, etc.

"You know, theres like a million things wrong with Flo-gay-bots song that says that he can ride a bike with no handle bars. NO YOU CANNOT! You are teaching kids wrong, how are you supposed to turn?! If you can do that -- then I can cook without fire and pots/pans, read without text involved, and beat someone to a pulp... WITH MY MIND! Oh, and I would be able to walk with nothing but a head, neck, and torso. BUH-BLAAAAAM!"
~Scruffles/Xzavier



WikiWikiWiki
from www.wikipedia.org

***Special thanks to Daniel Poole for providing the links and the excellent suggestion to feature lost, forgotten, abandoned places, ghost towns, etc.***

Hashima Island
I couldn't find one paragraph that I wanted to post in its entirety without wanting to post the whole page, so here are the highlights. Please take note that these are exact quotes from the page unless otherwise noted.
*Hashima Island is one of about 505 uninhabited islands in the Nagasaki Prefecture about 15 kilometers from Nagasaki itself.
*As petroleum replaced coal in Japan in the 1960s, coal mines began shutting down all over the country, and Hashima's mines were no exception. Mitsubishi officially announced the closing of the mine in 1974, and today it is empty and bare, which is why it is called the Ghost Island. Travel to Hashima was re-opened on April 22, 2009 after more than 20 years of closure.
*The island has been featured in numerous films, such as the 2003 film Battle Royale II: Requiem. The 1949 film Midori Naki Shima (The Greenless Island) was also shot on Hashima Island. The island is also the setting of the final stage in the 2005 video game killer7, where it is strictly referred to as Battleship Island. It was also referenced in the manga Midori Days and the anime Get Backers.
*The video game Forbidden Siren 2 takes place at Yamijima Island, that was directly modeled after Hashima Island.
*The island is increasingly gaining international attention not only as one of the modern international heritages in the region, but also as the housing complex remnants in the years from Taisho Era to Showa Era. Moreover, the island has become the frequent subject of a discussion among enthusiasts for ruins.



Centralia, Pennsylvania
*Centralia is a borough and ghost town in Columbia County, Pennsylvania, United States. Its population has dwindled from over 1,000 residents in 1981 to 12 in 2005[1] and 9 in 2007,[2] as a result of a mine fire burning beneath the borough since 1962. Centralia is now the least-populous municipality in Pennsylvania, with four fewer residents than the borough of S.N.P.J..
The borough was also a hotbed of Molly Maguires activity during the 1860s and 1870s. The borough's founder, Alexander Rea, was one of the victims of the secret order when he was murdered just outside of the borough on October 17, 1868.[4] Three individuals were convicted of the crime and hanged in the county seat of Bloomsburg, on March 25, 1878. Several other murders and arsons also occurred during this period.
*The only indications of the fire, which underlies some 400 acres (1.6 km²) spreading along four fronts, are low round metal steam vents in the south of the borough and several signs warning of underground fire, unstable ground, and carbon monoxide. Additional smoke and steam can be seen coming from an abandoned portion of Pennsylvania Route 61, the area just behind the hilltop cemetery, and other cracks in the ground scattered about the area. Route 61 was repaired several times until its final closing.



Prypiat
**Daniel, when you mentioned this, I thought it sounded familiar. In "The Last Oracle" by James Rollins (I think Galvan has my copy), that place is mentioned, along with some other very interesting places. Check out the synopsis online somewhere, and if you're interested in reading it, I think Chris is done. Just get it from him. Excellent, fascinating, interesting book. Yes.

*Prypiat was founded in 1970 to house the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant workers, officially proclaimed a city in 1979, and was abandoned in 1986 following the Chernobyl disaster.
*A mission in Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare takes place in Prypiat, where the player is tasked with sniping a target and then exfiltrating near the Ferris wheel. At one point, Captain MacMillan, the leader of the mission, remarks, "Look at this place. 50,000 people used to live in this city. Now it's a ghost town. I've never seen anything like it." The mission was especially notable due to the accuracy with which it portrays the city.



Pompeii
**I already included this in a previous dOrk fOrces, but it goes along with this section, so if you missed it, or if you feel like re-reading, there is it.


Nifty Websites

Number Nut
Click & see. :)




My Life is Average
from www.mylifeisaverage.com

Today, I went to a Dunkin Donuts drive-through. My dad decided to be funny and ask for a Big Mac and a Whopper Jr. The man at the other end of the drive-through proceeded to answer "Alright, that will be nine hundred and five dollars." MLIA

Today, I was play fighting with my dad. He made his hand into a gun and shot me, so I cocked my 'shotgun' and fired at him. He then shot me with a 'rocket launcher'. I tried to die in a dignified way but fell off my chair laughing. I'm 24. I love my dad. MLIA

Today, I saw and advertisement for non-drowsy sleep aids. MLIA

I saw a Chuck Norris fact that said, "Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo hides." No wonder Waldo is such a good hider. MLIA

Today, I was extremely tired, and making a grilled cheese. When I was done, I cleaned up the kitchen and went to watch T.V. My mom went into the kitchen, then came back and said, "You'd better see this." Apparently I put all of the dirty dishes in the fridge, and the ketchup and cheese in the sink. Fail. MLIA
^^:: nodding head vigorously :: I've done this! Or something similar. I think it was with orange juice.



Learn From My Fail
from www.learnfrommyfail.com

If someone calls your office and asks to speak with Dick, don’t say "do you know his last name? There are a lot of dick who work here," at least not when your boss is within hearing range and has a mouth full of coffee. #LFMF

Scaring a friend walking by herself on a dark street is a bad idea. Scaring a friend who can readily use tae-kwan-doe to kick your ass when grabbed from behind is an even worse idea. #LFMF

Never toast a marshmallow over the stove flame on a fork and then eat it. 4 burn lines on my lips for days. #LFMF

Always remember that catnip is in the mint family of plants. A nice, relaxing, peppermint scented pedicure will end with the cat violently attacking and licking your feet. #LFMF

If your boxers seem to be roomier than normal in front, yet are riding up your butt crack, they’re on backwards. #LFMF



Text Faux Pas
from www.textsfromlastnight.com

(602):
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.

(951):
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.

(210):
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer

(210):
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously





Chuck Norris!
from http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.



The 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon

Johnny Depp --> Kevin Bacon

Johnny Depp was in Once Upon a Time in Mexico with Cheech Marin
Cheech Marin was in Masked and Anonymous with Ed Harris
Ed Harris was in Apollo 13 with Kevin Bacon

^I promise I am not intentionally linking everything to KB thru Apollo 13.


Funny Pics
from the www.icanhascheezburger.com collection of websites






^^The RED SQUIRREL (( :: sigh :: from Penguins of Madagascar?? Yes? No? I know. I am a dOrk))

Thank you! Thank you! I am here for all eternity!!

♥jessi

May 27, 2010

***Please be aware that this daily e-mail of dOrk fOrces has run out of life support. This will be the last e-mail to your workplace e-mails. If you would like to receive these e-mails at your personal e-mails, please contact me here or at spydurpoet@gmail.com
There is also the FaceBook group dOrk fOrces.
And the blOg, which is probably your best bet after today because I will be forced to post their daily instead of mass posting at the end of the week.
You can find that at http://dorkforces.blogspot.com
I apologize. It was a great run, but there's static about whether or not it falls within the guidelines of the company Code of Conduct, and I would hate to get anyone in trouble. :) (Yes, that includes myself)

I would like to thank the following people for helping me out with this e-mail, which I started to brighten people's days and break the monotony.
My Gal Friday…Steffi Style - Steffi Mueller - quotes, songs, Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, etc.
Patricia Salazar - Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon
Nick Ramos - songs, book recommendations
Scruffles (my nephew, Xzavier, from California) - songs, quotes
Suzette Santiago - picture of rising gas prices & why we can't feed everyone :)
Aimee Johnston - Learn From My Fail!
Olan Goodman - quotes
Freddy Cisneros - stories
Michael Hernandez - quotes
Brandon Haynes - songs, stories, quotes
Mat Xavier - songs, stories, quotes, and don't forget his YouTube channel blog - it is epic!
Ryan Driscoll - songs, stories
Ted Tucker - songs
Damien Forrest - songs
John Rodriguez - websites
Keith Howell - songs
Ricardo Quinonez - songs, quotes, picture (I know this is your first & last mailing. Sorry, you missed some epicness, but you can read it on the blog)
Larry Pryor - picture
Please, if I forgot anyone, let me know.


Holidaze
from www.brownielocks.com

***May is National Smile Month. I hope that I made each of you smile at least once with this e-mail.***

Today is Cellophane Tape Day.



Today in History
from http://www.brainyhistory.com

1796 James S. McLean patents his piano
1844 Samuel F.B. Morse completes first telegraph line
1907 Bubonic Plague breaks out in San Francisco
1961 First black light is sold


Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

Waxing - to increase in extent, quantity, intensity, or power.



Personal
from the life & times of jessi bean
♥jmb♥

Watched a certain HBO series (very popular) for the first time last night. Honestly, I mean, there were funny parts, but for most of it, I was sitting there saying "huh?" while Steffi was laughing because she knew what was going on. It was fun, though.

Then, of course, we proceeded to say we were tired and going to go to sleep, but ended up facebooking each other (again) from 5 feet away. :) I love staying with Steffi. It's always a blast.

**3:30pm: A BIRD just flew smack into my window here at work. No joke. Then it flew away like nothing happened. I can hear it's thoughts. 'Dang it! That was another force field. No one saw that….just kidding.'





People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

I need 3 volunteers for an experiment.
#1 - someone who does NOT dream (or at least doesn't think they do)
#2 - someone who dreams on a regular basis
#3 - someone who dreams more than they think is normal for a homosapien.

^This is for an experiment in lucid dreaming. It's nothing crazy. I just need you to write down how your dreaming (or lack thereof) is on a normal routine, then start eating sunflower seeds (just munch on them), bananas, and drinking one of the following teas: jasmine, peppermint or anise (with your choice of sweetener added plus a smidgeon of cinnamon and nutmeg). If you're feeling particularly crazy about the experiment, you can also add extra servings of milk, pickles, popcorn, fish, and pistachios to your daily diet. I just want t know if this really promotes, if not lucid dreaming, then at the very least vivid dreaming and the increase of dream recall. Let me know.



^Ricardo's stress reliever. Is adorable. Yes? I concur. :)


Scary Spice's Song Promotion of the Day
(there ya go, Jan. got mahself a nicky-name. because My Gal Friday said I was scary spice for posting a pic of the scorpion that bit me up on FaceBook. or MySpace. one of them)

No Ordinary Love by TobyMac
I'm a Believer by the Monkees
Happy Together by the Turtles

The Week is Almost Up Bonus
Breathe by Anna Nalick

♥for jmb♥
Emotionally Yours by Bob Dylan


My Gal Friday…Steffi Style Song Promotion of the Day

New York, New York by Frank Sinatra♥
Empire State of Mind by JayZ (feat. Alicia Keys)
Carried Away by George Strait

The Week is Almost Up Bonus/Fab Four Bonus
Beautiful by Moby


Randomness Song Promotion of the Day

We Built This City on Rock & Roll by Jefferson Starship (Thank you, Ricardo Quinonez)
Drive by Incubus (Thank you, Ricardo Quinonez)
Public Service Announcement by JayZ (Thank you, Ricardo Quinonez)

The Week is Almost Up Bonus
1976 by RJD2 (Thank you, Bryan Hawkins)



Quotes
from http://www.quotegarden.com/humorous.html

An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault. ~William Castle

When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football. ~Author Unknown

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. ~Carl Zwanzig

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. ~Fred Allen

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. ~Colin Sautar



Quotes
from random friends, family, etc.

Me: I need to connect Chuck Norris to Kevin Bacon
Ricardo: Chuck Norris to Kevin Bacon?
Me: Yes.
Ricardo: Well, Kevin Bacon was in Footloose, and Chuck Norris kicks people's butt with his loose foot.



Fascinating Websites
from http://webupon.com/web-talk/30-random-but-fascinating-websites/ AND http://webupon.com/web-talk/30-more-random-but-fascinating-websites/


http://www.aip.de/groups/galaxies/sw/udf/swudfV1.0.html
This website lets you pick a point in the universe and enlarge it for a better view. Awesomeness.






My Life is Average
www.mylifeisaverage.com

Recently I got a new laptop and made the homepage MLIA. I just opened up Internet Explorer and saw MLIA and now I don't remember what i wanted to do. MLIA.

Today, I realized that if you say "Your pants are on fire," then point at their pants, people will look down to make sure they're not. MLIA

Today I visited my 2-year-old cousin for the first time in a while. About half an hour after I got there, she pointed at my braces and asked in toddler-talk, "Why's there a necklace in your mouth?" Why, indeed. MLIA

Today, I was listening to my iPod while waiting for the bus. I started nodding and realized I was off beat. I was embarrassed until I realized no one else could hear the music. MLIA.

Today, I followed a guy all around Borders, just so i could hear him speaking french on the phone. MLIA

Today, my boyfriend and I were in Target looking at babywipes, debating which to get: Winnie the Pooh or Finding Nemo. A mother with two young children saw our predicament and suggested the Winnie the Pooh ones, saying her children love them, and she was sure our child would, too. We thanked her and bought them. We do not have a child, the babywipes were for my boyfriend's camping trip. MLIA.

Today, I learned that there are many viruses for windows computers, but only 1 for Macs. Apple makes the virus. It makes all of the icons on your desktop fall to the bottom, and if it is a laptop, and you tilt it they fall to that corner. If you restart your computer it goes away. I seriously want this virus now. MLIA



Learn from My Fail
from www.learnfrommyfail.com

When you’re really mad at your video games and your wife tries to comfort you by saying "if it helps I Love You!" the correct response is, in fact, "it does and I love you too" and not "your love won’t buy me a gun". #LFMF

When the TSA agent at the airport asks if you are a US Citizen, do not reply,"What happens if I say I’m not?". They will show you, very clearly. #LFMF

If that fancy new cheese you bought seems unnaturally chewy, check to see if the waxed paper backing is still on it. #LFMF




Customers are Fun
from www.notalwaysright.com


America, Land Of The Not-So-Free
Retail Houston, TX, USA

Me: “Would you like a free year of anti-virus for this computer?”
Customer: “No, that is too expensive! In my country, we can get it for about $16 USD!”
Me: “Well, in this country you get it for free when you buy a computer.”
Customer: “No, it’s too expensive. You give me a deal?”
Me: “I can charge you $16 US Dollars for the anti-virus.”
Customer: “Okay! You see? You gave me a deal.”



Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day
from www.chucknorrisfactoids.com

"The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. "



The 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon
Special Requests from Nick Ramos

"Chuck Norris"

I cheated. I did. I went to http://connect.filmsandtv.com/gamerun.php?r=3726
Chuck Norris played in The Delta Force with George Kennedy
2. George Kennedy played in The Dirty Dozen with Charles Bronson
3. Charles Bronson played in Borderline with Ed Harris
4. Ed Harris played in Apollo 13 with Xander Berkeley
5. Xander Berkeley played in Apollo 13 with Kevin Bacon



Funny Pics
from the www.icanhascheezburger.com collection









Thank you, thank you. I am here for all eternity.

♥jessi

May 26, 2010

It's hot & humid and even though Steffi did my hair today & it looks beautiful, I know I look like I've been electrocuted because the moisture in the air hit my head and now I look, once again, like one of those trolls.




Holidaze
from www.brownielocks.com

May is Better Hearing and Speech Month.
(R!!!!!)

Are you ready for this mouthful?
This week is Week of Solidarity With the People of Non-Self--Governing Territories.

Today is National Senior Health & Fitness Day.

***Tomorrow is a full moon. We should start getting the psycho calls here today. This full moon is called Flower Moon by the Native Americans of New England and the Great Lakes because this time of year flowers are all over.



Today in History
from http://www.brainyhistory.com

1805 Lewis and Clark first see Rocky Mountains
1927 Ford Motor Company manufactures its 15 millionth Model T automobile
1973 Funky Worm by Ohio Players hits #15
1977 Movie "Star Wars" debuts



Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

regnant - prevalent; widespread



Personal
from the life & times of jessi bean
♥jmb♥

Knowing I am not going home for even a few days is strange and foreign to me. I always back out of staying at friends' houses for that reason. I like to be home. And these past few months I've gotten used to being home, alone.

But staying with Steffi has been really fun, and I can honestly say she makes it fun and worthwhile. We had nomnomnoms and watched Dear John and I yes, I cried, but not as much as I was expecting. Everyone said it was a real tear-jerker, but the only time I cried was when he was reading the letter to his father. That was the only point I cried. But it was an amazing movie. Beautiful and moving. Not was I was expecting from the synopsis.

I feel spoiled. Literally. We ate pork potstickers (hahaha I passed the addiction on), watched a tear-jerker, listened to movies, had nomnoms, woke up later than expected, she did my HAIR and then we had tazo tea on the way in. Oh! And she packed me a lunch!! Any more spoilage and you'll have to throw me out. bwah ha ha.



People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

I need 3 volunteers for an experiment.
#1 - someone who does NOT dream (or at least doesn't think they do)
#2 - someone who dreams on a regular basis
#3 - someone who dreams more than they think is normal for a homosapien.

****ALSO**** If there's any pics of the karaoke....yeah. Send them this way.



AWESOMENESS, LARRY!!



Scary Spice's Song Promotion of the Day
(there ya go, Jan. got mahself a nicky-name. because My Gal Friday said I was scary spice for posting a pic of the scorpion that bit me up on FaceBook. or MySpace. one of them)

Do Wah Diddy Diddy by Manfred Mann
That's the Way by KC &the Sunshine Band
All Shook Up by Elvis

Wednesday Bonus
Dirty Water by Joe Grushecky & the House Rockers

♥for jmb♥
Patience by Guns'n'Roses


My Gal Friday…Steffi Style Song Promotion of the Day

Brass Monkey by Beastie Boys
Stand Back by Stevie Nicks
Over the Hills and Far Away by Led Zepplin

Wednesday Bonus
Umbrella by Rhianna


Scruffles' Song Promotion of the Day

He's on a Rammstein kick.

Engel
Liebe ist für alle da
Roter Sand

Wednesday Bonus
Du Hast


Quotes

"If I know what love is, it is because of you." ~Hermann Hesse

"She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other." ~Robin Williams

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." ~Douglas Adams


Roter Sand und weiße Tauben
Laben sich an meinem Blut
Am Ende gibt es doch ein Ende
Bin ich doch zu etwas gut.

Red sand and white doves
refresh themselves on my blood
In the end, there is still an ending
I am still good for something.
^from Roter Sand by Rammstein, at the request of my nephew, Scruffles



Quotes
from random friends, family, etc.

"One day you wake up to find the roses were all made of paper and they've burned, and he's just a man...just as human as you are, and you want him to accept all your faults and yet forgive him none of his."
~Alicia Flanders (my mom)



WikiWikiWikiWiki
from www.wikipedia.org

Lilium kelloggii is a species of lily known by the common name Kellogg's lily. It is endemic to the Klamath Mountains of northern California and southern Oregon, where it grows in forests, including redwood understory. It is a perennial herb known to exceed two meters in height. It originates from a scaly, elongated bulb up to about 7.5 centimeters long. The stem is ringed with dense whorls of up to 40 leaves, each leaf up to 16 centimeters in length. The inflorescence bears up to 27 large, showy, nodding lily flowers. The fragrant flower is bell-shaped with 6 strongly recurved pink tepals up to 8 centimeters in length. There are 6 stamens with large red anthers up to 1.4 centimeters long and a pistil which may be over 4 centimeters in length. The flowers are pollinated by swallowtails.[1]


(from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilium_kelloggii)



My Life is Average
www.mylifeisaverage.com

I just discovered the google language options "bork, bork, bork!" "elmer fudd" "hacker" "Klingdon" and "pirate." Can you honestly side with yahoo after that? MLIA.

Today, I was in the mall and I saw a lady trying to steal a full sized mannequin by stuffing it under her clothes. I love you mall. MLIA.

A few days ago, my mom's best friend was pulled over on a back road for speeding. He ended up just giving her a warning. Why? She was dressed as the Cat in the Hat. MLIA

Today I was studying for the 4th of my four midterms for the week when I realized that not only do I talk to myself while studying, but I also crack jokes and laugh out loud at myself before continuing to study. Thank you college, for helping me completely lose my mind. MLIA

Today, I was driving to work. It was very snowy out and as I passed the town hall and police station, a saw a bunch of people having a huge snowball fight. When I drove closer, I realized the people were all the town cops, in uniform. MLIA
^This HAS to be a small town, and I want to know where it is, so I can move there.



Learn from My Fail
from www.learnfrommyfail.com

When you have your 5-year-old and her friend practice their numbers by counting their toes, make sure the friend ACTUALLY has 10 toes before telling her to "try again". #LFMF

Some things you can take at face value. Don’t spend twenty minutes trying to figure out how often to take your Once-A- Day brand vitamins. #LFMF

If you have long hair, always tie it up when using a power drill, and if you do get it caught, do not put the drill in reverse to unwind your hair, it will only make things worse. #LFMF

Aloe Vera and green hand sanitizer look very similar, they do not feel similar especially on a peeling sun burn. #LFMF




Customers are Fun
from www.notalwaysright.com


Demand A Battery Of Tests ASAP
Tech Support | Boston, MA, USA

(A customer comes to pick up a phone they had dropped off for repair.)
Customer: “I’m so glad it is working! What was the problem?”
Me: “It just needed to be charged.”
Customer: “No, it was fully charged Friday and then just died. There must be something else wrong with it. Please look at it further.”
Me: “Well I did. The battery was at 0%, in fact, you still will need to charge it for quite a while. It is working though.”
Customer: “No, you keep it and keep looking.” *leaves*
(The customer comes back two hours later. A co-worker handles it.)
Customer: “So is it okay?”
Coworker: “Yes, it turns out there was a problem with the phone’s N.R.G. We have corrected it.”
Customer: “So that explains it!”



Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day
from www.chucknorrisfactoids.com

"Chuck Norris can speak Braille. "




The 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon
Special Requests from Nick Ramos

"Jack Black"

was in Be Kind Rewind with Mos Def(1)
who was in The Woodsman with Kevin Bacon(2)
"Jackie Chan"
was in Shanghai Noon with Xander Berkley
who was in Apollo 13 with Kevin Bacon!!!!
^Thanks for helping me on that one, Patricia. I couldn't figure out how to link him to Jackie Chan.




Funny Pics
from the www.icanhascheezburger.com collection

from www.whydoilivehere.com
There are many important life questions worth exploring: What is it I really want? Is this the career for me? Am I going to regret this tattoo? Is my neighbor’s front door installed upside-down? Why am I forced to live among crazy people? Why Do I Live Here? Because, after all, if your neighbors aren’t the weird ones, then, statistically, it’s probably you.














Thank you, thank you. I am here for all eternity.

♥jessi

May 25, 2010

Hello! I hope you are all having a great day. :) I know it's a cloudy, gloomy day, but hey, we can all go dancing in the rain. We can do RiverDance!
^yeah. obviously I wrote this when it was raining & it is no longer raining.


Paul Gray, the bassist of Slipknot, died yesterday at age 38. This is a tragedy for the music industry. Moment of silence for a man who defined epic. :(

Holidaze
from www.brownielocks.com

Today. Is. The. Cookie Monster's Birthday.
OMNOMNOMNOM

Are you ready?
Today is ALSO *****NERD OR GEEK PRIDE DAY*****
Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha….
Okay. I'll stop now.

Not!
Bwah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Okay. I'm done.

It's also National Missing Children's Day, and National Tap Dance Day.
Hey! See? We should all go outside, do River Dance real quick, and then come back in like nothing happened. I'm sure that would make news. We would be the most EPIC Chase site in the world. Oh, wait. We already are.



Today in History
from http://www.brainyhistory.com

1887 Gas lamp at Paris Opera catches fire; 200 die
1935 Babe Ruth hits his last 3 home runs, Boston Braves vs. Pirates
1937 1st airmail letter to circle globe returns to New York
1941 5,000 drown in a storm at Ganges Delta region in India
1962 Isley Brothers release "Twist and Shout"


Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

Shivaree - a mock serenade with kettles and other noisemakers for a newly married couple.


Personal
from the life & times of jessi bean
♥jmb♥

A couple of you were privy to this hilarity yesterday.
So, I was in a mood yesterday, and I decided that I was going to break down and have a cigarette. I got the cigarette. I needed a lighter. Four people later, I got a lighter. I was thwarted by Brandon and Mike, but made it around their blockade. I went outside…put the cigarette in my mouth…

and the lighter would not work.

So Brandon takes the lighter and the cigarette from me whilst I stand there with my mouth hanging open in shock of the trouble I had to go through to get nowhere, and gives them back to their rightful owners. The owner of the lighter, thank you, John, flicks the lighter on with no problemo.

What an epic fail of…a fail. So. I made it through yesterday without a cigarette, which makes it a week that I have been smoke-free. Yay!


People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

Please be conscious of your co-workers. I know we get involved in our own worlds and cliques and what-not, but you never know when someone needs a kind word, an ear to bed, or when you're going to be the last straw for them.



Scary Spice's Song Promotion of the Day
(there ya go, Jan. got mahself a nicky-name. because My Gal Friday said I was scary spice for posting a pic of the scorpion that bit me up on FaceBook. or MySpace. one of them)

Tomorrow by SR71
Wasting the Dawn by 69 Eyes
In the Darkness by Dead by Sunrise

Rainy Tuesday Bonus
Burn by Apocalyptica
^if you don't know who Apocalyptica is….check them out. I adore them. awesome band. yes. ♥


My Gal Friday…Steffi Style Song Promotion of the Day

Don't Wake Me by Love and Theft
When it Rains by Eli Young Band
Don't Say by St. Lola in the Fields

Rainy Tuesday Bonus
Umbrella by Rhianna



Quotes

"They say sleep is the cousin of death, so my eyes wide open cuz a dream is kin to your last breath."
~The Game
♥


Quotes
from random friends, family, etc.

"or the lack of in my case "
i mean - i had my umbrella and everything, but i shouldn't have bothered to use it at all. i'm sooooo glad i took a shower this morning.

~referring to Umbrella by Rhianna
~Thank you, My Gal Friday - Steffi Style~


WikiWikiWikiWiki
from www.wikipedia.org

Pompeii is a ruined and partially buried Roman town-city near modern Naples in the Italian region of Campania, in the territory of the commune of Pompeii. Along with Herculaneum, its sister city, Pompeii was destroyed and completely buried during a long catastrophic eruption of the volcano Mount Vesuvius spanning two days in 79 AD. The eruption buried Pompeii under 22 meters of ash and pumice, and it was lost for nearly 1,600 years before its accidental rediscovery in 1592. Since then, its excavation has provided an extraordinarily detailed insight into the life of a city at the height of the Roman Empire. Today, this UNESCO World Heritage Site is one of the most popular tourist attractions of Italy, with approximately 2,500,000 visitors every year.[1]



(from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pompeii)



My Life is Average
www.mylifeisaverage.com

I was waiting for a call about whether I got accepted to get my job or not. Then I heard a telephone ring in the distance; we live in a big house so I screamed and ran downstairs as fast as I could to get the phone. I kept on slipping and falling on the hardwood stairs because I had socks on. When I finally got there covered in bruises, panting, I found out the sound only came from the movie my sister was watching on the couch. MLIA

So my grandmother used the most cell phone minutes in the house w/ just over 2000 this month. I, the teenager, used the least, ranking just under both of my parents. MLIA?

Today I decided to buy Sour Patch Kids for my after-lunch snack. I held up each package to the light to see if there were a lot of red ones before I picked a pack to buy. MLIA.
^^the red ones are my favorite, too.

Today my mom has finished building LEGO's Death Star and Star-Trek Enterprise. I'm so proud that my mom knows what's important in life. MLIA
^^this sounds oddly like something my son would say about me....but he's only 6 and is not allowed online except to play nickolodean.


Learn from My Fail
from www.learnfrommyfail.com


While holding your car keys in one hand and trash in the other, be careful which one you toss in the dumpster. #LFMF

When you see a small spider in your vehicle at the end of the week don't ignore it. Over the weekend that spider might be busy making the biggest web you ever saw and giving birth to about 50 little baby spiders. In your vehicle. Which you then have to drive to work. #LFMF

When joking around at a new job, remember that not all work environments are the same, and what may have been a common joke one place may be mistaken as sexual harassment at a different place. #LFMF
^^crazy. we just took the code of conduct training. apparently, he missed that.

Note to self: While giggling hysterically because your dog just let out a loud burp, remember to STEP AWAY. Dog burps are shockingly vile. #LFMF



Customers are Fun
from www.notalwaysright.com


A Complete Avatard
Video Rental Phoenix, AZ, USA

Customer: “Do you have any copies of that new Avatar movie?”
Me: “Sorry it looks like it’s not available anywhere right now. I could call you when a copy comes in if you like.”
Customer: “You didn’t check the back room. Do you have any there?”
Me: “No, we don’t keep movies in the back. Company policy says we have to have all available copies on the shelf.”
Customer: “So, why don’t you have any on the shelf?”
Me: “Because we’re all checked out. There are none present at this store or any other in this area. It’s an extremely popular movie since it just came out a few days ago. We have no more copies at any nearby store.”
Customer: “Why not?”
Me: “Well, they all got checked out by other people.”
Customer: “Well, why the heck did you let them do that? What kind of video store lets people just take whatever movie they want?!”




Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day
from www.chucknorrisfactoids.com

"When Chuck Norris breaks the law, the law doesn't heal. "





The 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon
Now for Robin Hood :)
Russell Crowe

was in Gladiator with Joaquin Phoenix(1)
who was in Hotel Rwanda with Nick Nolte(2)
who was in Cape Fear with Robert DiNero(3)
who was in The Untouchables with Kevin Costner(4)
who was in JFK with Kevin Bacon
but there is an easier way … if anyone is up to the challenge… LoL … someone else pointed out theeasier steps by the way…
Russell Crowe was in A Beautiful Mind with Ed Harris(1)
who was in Apollo 13 with Kevin Bacon.

Thank you, Patricia, for this. :)





Funny Pics
from the www.icanhascheezburger.com collection




















Thank you, thank you. I am here for all eternity.

♥jessi

May 24, 2010

I hope you all had an excellent weekend. I am incredibly tired, but hopefully this 5-hour Energy will kick in shortly. Thank you, Nick Ramos, for the hit. I swear. We are the generation of energy junkies. But that's okay, right? I can think of worse things to be addicted to. Like cigarettes, for instance. And it turns out that it is not just my car that has that stench. I had to do a lot of laundry, and cleaning, and still, everything smells like cigarettes. How is that even possible?? Oh. And the Lakers….lost?!

Holidaze
from www.brownielocks.com

May is Fibromyalgia Education & Awareness Month.

Today is Brother's Day!! Make sure you hug, call, or in some way contact your brother today (if you have one).



Today in History
from http://www.nytimes.com/learning/general/onthisday/index.html

My computer is not allowing me to pull up this page. This happens on a regular basis and is getting annoying. I am going to find an alternate page to pull these from. Please stay tuned.


Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

adumbrate - to foreshadow; prefigure


Personal
from the life & times of jessi bean
♥jmb♥

I was on the phone for six hours straight last night. Yeah. Crazy? I think I am, too. ((Breaks into song about being crazy in love…))
I know. It's disgusting. :P

So….tomorrow will mark a week w/out cigarettes. (It would have been today, but the day I quit smoking, I paid someone for one last cigarette and to never give me another one). The initial insanity has passed, but…yeah. I still have those moments when I'm like…okay, time for a smoke….and there are none.


People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

Someone give me something to work with here. Come on.



Scary Spice's Song Promotion of the Day
(there ya go, Jan. got mahself a nicky-name. because My Gal Friday said I was scary spice for posting a pic of the scorpion that bit me up on FaceBook. or MySpace. one of them)

Low Rider by War
Raise Up by Petey Pablo
Say Hey (I Love You) by Michael Franti

A Case of the Mondays Bonus
Supermassive Black Hole by Muse
Angels on the Moon by Thriving Ivory


My Gal Friday…Steffi Style Song Promotion of the Day

Run Run Away by Slade
A Little Respect by Erasure
Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order

Get Me Movin' Monday Bonus
Groove is in the Heart by Dee-Lite
Toxic (Remix) by Britney Spears


Scruffles' Song Promotion of the Day

Rosetta Stone* by Tool
Danger - Keep Away by Slipknot
Tears Don't Fall by Bullet for my Valentine

Get Over It Monday Bonus
She Was by Dark Lotus
Changes by Deftones



Quotes

“The game always has to be played from the inside out, ... I'm not a black hole by any means. I always look for my shooters.” ~Shaquille O'Neal

“Biology is a black hole. Biological agents are an area where they have never told us the truth.” ~Richard Butler



Quotes
from random friends, family, etc.

what if the Hokey-Pokey IS really what it's all about?
~Thank you, My Gal Friday - Steffi Style~


WikiWikiWikiWiki
from www.wikipedia.org

In honor of the new section, Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon (thank you Steffi & Patricia), I am listing the origins.


Six degrees of separation (also referred to as the "Human Web") refers to the idea that everyone is at most six steps away from any other person on Earth, so that a chain of, "a friend of a friend" statements can be made to connect any two people in six steps or fewer. It was originally set out by Frigyes Karinthy and popularized by a play written by John Guare.

On the internet:

Digrii.com
In 2008 born the project of Digrii (which in Swahili means "degrees") dedicated to social networks that will give way to network users to assess their degree of separation with anyone. The project, developed through a social network (www.digrii.com) allows anyone to create a free account and just invite their acquaintances and friends to register so that can create the global network. Each time a user visits the profile of another user, the system automatically returns the degree of separation that exists between him and the profile of the person who is considering at that time.

SixDegrees.org
On January 18, 2007, Kevin Bacon launched SixDegrees.org, a web site that builds on the popularity of the "small world phenomenon" to create a charitable social network and inspire giving to charities online. Bacon started the network with celebrities who are highlighting their favorite charities – including Kyra Sedgwick (Natural Resources Defense Council), Nicole Kidman (UNIFEM), Ashley Judd (YouthAIDS), Bradley Whitford and Jane Kaczmarek (Clothes off Our Back), Dana Delany (Scleroderma Research Foundation), Robert Duvall (Pro Mujer), Rosie O'Donnell (Rosie's For All Kids Foundation), and Jessica Simpson (Operation Smile) — and he encouraged everyone to be celebrities for their own causes by joining the Six Degrees movement.

"SixDegrees.org is about using the idea that we are all connected to accomplish something good," said Bacon. "It is my hope that Six Degrees will soon be something more than a game or a gimmick. It will also be a force for good, by bringing a social conscience to social networking." The game, 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon,' made the rounds of college campuses over the past decade and lived on to be a shorthand term for the small world phenomenon.

Bacon created SixDegrees.org in partnership with the nonprofit Network for Good, AOL, and Entertainment Weekly. Through SixDegrees.org, which builds on Network for Good's giving system for donating to more than one million charities online and AOL's AIM Pages social networking service, people can learn about and support the charities of celebrities or fundraise for their own favorite causes with their own friends and families. Bacon will match the charitable dollars raised by the top six non-celebrity fundraisers with grants of up to $10,000 each[16]

***Facebook
A FaceBook platform application named “[Six Degrees]”[dead link] was developed by Karl Bunyan, which calculates the degrees of separation between different people.[citation needed] It has over 5.8 million users (as of December 20, 2009), as seen from the group's page. The average separation for all users of the application is 5.73 degrees, whereas the maximum degree of separation is 12. The application has a "Search for Connections" window to input any name of a FaceBook user, to which it then shows the chain of connections. As of October 24, 2009, the application was no longer available.

Along the same lines was the group “Six Degrees of Separation - The Experiment”, which instructed new members to invite six people on their friend list, and is cited in a report about the theory. The group however, had no way to check if everyone is actually within six degrees of each other, and has since been deleted. However, a newer group with the same name revived the intent of the deleted group.

***LinkedIn
The LinkedIn professional networking site operates on the concept of how many steps you are away from a person you wish to communicate with. The site encourages you to pass messages to people in your network via the people in your 1st-degree connections list, who in turn pass it to their 1st-degree connections.

SixDegrees.com
SixDegrees.com was an early social-networking website that existed from 1997 to 2001. It allowed users to list friends, family members and acquaintances, send messages and post bulletin board items to people in their first, second, and third degrees, and see their connection to any other user on the site. At its height it had approximately one million users.

***Twitter
Users on Twitter can follow other users creating a network. According to a study of 5.2 billion such relationships by social media monitoring firm Sysomos, the average distance on Twitter is 4.67. On average, about 50% of people on Twitter are only four steps away from each other, while nearly everyone is five steps away.[


^^I am on LinkedIn, FaceBook, and Twitter. I fully intend on checking out digrii.com and sixdegrees.org.


(from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_degrees)



My Life is Average
www.mylifeisaverage.com

Today, I saw a really cool bug on my bedroom window. I got my camera and was enthusiastically taking pictures of it. A couple minutes later, I look up and realize my neighbors' living room window is directly across from my bedroom window. They were standing there giving me dirty looks. MLIA

Today I read a story on MLIA about somebody's grandma hearing Satan talk to her through the phone. Being dyslexic I thought it said Santa. I like my version better. MLIA

Today in English class, one kid started to sing "I Believe I Can Fly" from Space Jam. Little by little, kids joined in until everyone was singing. We sang the chorus while our teacher just sat there staring, open mouthed. Then the bell rang and we all ran out of the room. MLIA.

Today when I got home from school I was looking through the mail to see if I had any. I didn't, but there was one addressed to 'Murphy Hanton.' Murphy is my dog. MLIA


Learn from My Fail
from www.learnfrommyfail.com

Do not tell your 3-year-old that she will get a huge prize if she goes the day without pooping in her pullup. Children are devious. Her pullup will stay clean and you will find turds all over the house. #LFMF

A fresh glass of water is irresistible to a cat. When your back is turned, he will take a sip. If he’s a slob, there will also be cat food and hair floating in it when he’s done. #LFMF

Always check the date on chocolate milk cartons, if there is enough chocolate you will not notice it has spoiled until you get to the bottom and the chunks get stuck in your straw. #LFMF

When his mother says to you, "Don’t marry my son. You’re too good for him." You should really take that advice. #LFMF
^^OH! Burn!

When taking your blood pressure medication, make sure not to accidentally take your wife’s super-strong sleeping pills by mistake. Especially if you’re playing a four-hour gig with your band. #LFMF

When you’re sitting in a business meeting and you see some pink fabric sticking out of the sleeve of your sweater, don’t pull it out, it might just be that pair of underwear you lost in the wash a few days ago. #LFMF



Customers are Fun
from www.notalwaysright.com

Not So Beautiful Mind
Bookstore | Alberta, Canada


Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a book based off a movie. Life is Beautiful, I think?”
Me: “I don’t believe Life is Beautiful” was originally a book. Are you perhaps thinking of A Beautiful Mind?”
Customer: “Yes! Yes that’s the one! Get me that one! It’s the one about World War II. And the guy is burned. And there’s a French Nurse. That’s the book I want!”
Me: “That actually sounds like The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje. I can grab a copy of that for you!”
Customer: “Yes! The English Patient. That sounds right. But Michael Ondaatje, that sounds like a foreign name. No, The English Patient wasn’t written by a foreigner. Do you have a copy that wasn’t written by Ondaatje? I want that story, but I want it written by a Canadian.”
Me: “So you want a copy of The English Patient that is not written by Michael Ondaatje?”
Customer: “Yes! That’s what I want. Do you have any copies of that story written by Margaret Atwood? I do like her.”
Me: “No. I really don’t think we do.”
Customer: “Oh. Do you think any of your other stores might?”
Me: “I doubt it, ma’am.”



Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day
from www.chucknorrisfactoids.com

"When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live. "



The 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon
In honor of IronMan 2 …
Kevin Bacon - Robert Downey Jr

Robert Downey Jr was in Natural Born Killers with
Tommy Lee Jones, who was in Men in Black with
Will Smith, who is Independence Day with
Jeff Goldblum, who was Deep Cover with
Laurence Fishbourne, who was in Mystic River with ….
KEVIN BACON!

Thank you, Patricia, for this. :)


Funny Pics
from the www.icanhascheezburger.com collection










^^Except for the thing on the bottom, those are the most beautiful shoes I have ever seen in my LIFE and I want them.


Thank you, thank you. I am here for all eternity.

♥jessi

May 28, 2010

Hello! I hope you are all having a fantastic Friday. If this is your first time here, you can find previous editions of dOrk fOrces by clicking on a date to the right of this page.

If you have NOT been receiving these in your e-mail and come to this blog for your daily dose, I apologize for the delay. I will have the last week's DF up by Sunday at the latest.

Today's is not going to be too long because I am readjusting to having to post it on the blog FIRST, and also I had some running around to do today.

Holidaze
from www.brownielocks.com

May is National Youth Traffic Safety Month!

Today is...nothing special apparently. We have Sierra Club Day (???) and Slugs Return From Capistrano Day. I am sure there are some FASCINATING stories behind these. no doubt.



Today in History
from www.brainyhistory.com

1900 Solar eclipse occurs
1997 Bob Dylan hospitalized in England with histoplasmosis



Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

ethereal - light, airy, or tenuous.
^definitely a poem word.



Personal
from the life & times of jessi-bean
♥jmb♥

Just having way too much fun with Steffi this week. Watched Stoploss last nigt, ate pot stickers, Blizzard Oreos, talked to John, listened to muzak, played Ms PacMan. I'm telling you. I needed this. Thanks, Steffi. I am kind of glad my trans went out.

Kind of. My trans still went out. But it was SO worth it to spend the week with you.



You!
from the life & times of you!

Gimme stories, ya'll.



Scary Spice's Song Promotion of the Day
(if you're new and wondering why this name was dubbed to me - it had something to do with the scorpion that bit me and the pic I took of it...after I killed it.)

I Guess You're Right by The Posies
Wrong Baby Wrong by Martina McBride
Dust in the Wind by Kansas

Friday Friday Friday Bonus
What Was I Thinkin' by Dierks Bentley
That's How Country Boys Roll by Billy Currington



My Gal Friday...Steffi Style's Song Promotion of the Day





Brandon's Song Promotion of the Day

People=Shit by Slipknot
Sulfur by Slipknot
Do What You Do by Mudvayne

Friday Friday Friday Bonus
Dig by Mudvayne



Quotes
from www.thinkexist.com


Bob Dylan quotes!

A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.

A song is anything that can walk by itself.

He not busy being born is busy dying.



Quotes!
from random family, friends, etc.

"I accidentally put your name in all caps. Heeeyyyy! Does that qualify as me screaming your name?"
~ Me.



Fascinating Websites
from http://webupon.com/web-talk/30-random-but-fascinating-websites/ AND http://webupon.com/web-talk/30-more-random-but-fascinating-websites/

Rense - check out the size of our world!!!
http://www.rense.com/general72/size.htm





My Life is Average
from www.mylifeisaverage.com

Today I typed "Waffles are" into Google and it said: "Waffles are pancakes with syrup traps." Made my day. MLIA.

Today I was in the girls locker room getting dressed for gym, when from around the corner we hear my gym teacher say "Who brought this guinea pig here?!?!?! What kind of joke is this?!?!" After going to check, we found there was, in fact, a guinea pig in a cage sitting on the floor of the locker room. Nobody really knew what to make of the situation. MLIA



Sorry. That's it for today. The main thing was to get it posted today. I will get better at this. :) I promitz.