April 8, 2010

I know I say this all the time, but waking up without my mouth exploding makes the world a more beautiful place (see the personal section for details). It is a beautiful day outside. B. E. A. Youtiful. Yeah. I just said that. Beautiful.



I. Need. Coffee.



Today's song is going to be....Paint it Black by the Rolling Stones, also done by a plethora of other artists including Jonny Lang. I have only heard the Jonny Lang version once, but I fell in love with it, so if anyone knows where to find that particular version, please let me know. I ♥ that song.



Also, I was very disappointed in the game last night. I watched until it was 46-49 with the Spurs down, and then I got mad and shut the TV off.



Today in History

from www.todayinhistory.com



1766 - First fire escape patented: wicker basket on a pulley and chain.

1781 - Premier of Mozart's violin sonata K379.

1879 - Milk was sold in glass bottles for the first time.

1946 - League of Nations assembles for the last time.

1994 - Smoking banned in Pentagon and all US Military bases.



I'm sorry. A wicker basket is what we were using to escape a fire? Has anyone seen Wicker Man? Seriously. WICKER as an escape for FIRE?





Quotes

from www.thinkexist.com



"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." ~Frederick Koenig



"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." ~Herman Cain



"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." ~Gautama Siddhartha





Word of the Day

from www.wordsmith.org



quiescence - (kwee-ES-uhns) - a state of rest, inactivity, or quietness.





My Life is Average

from www.mylifeisaverage.com



Today, I got really scared because I thought I lost my new iTouch. After twenty minutes of searching, I collapsed on the sofa in defeat. Then, I felt something in my pocket. It was my iTouch. And I had been listening to it that entire time. MLIA.



Today, my mom sent me a text message saying "I read a MLIA saying 'my mother fell asleep while watching Star Wars, and her snoring sounded like Darth Vader breathing.' I laughed, but then I realized you might have posted that about me. You didn't did you?" I laughed and let her wonder. MLIA.



Today, I was listening to my i-pod. After about 15 minutes, I felt something in my ear. I screamed and hit it. It was my earbud. MLIA



One night the power went out after a bad storm. Now my sister, though never having been the brightest crayon in the box, shocked us all when she yelled down the stairs, "Can I flush the toilet or will I get electrocuted?" MLIA





Customers are Fun

from www.notalwaysright.com



Magnetic Lines Of Farce

Call Center | Hagerstown, MD, USA

(An elderly customer we have would order a new credit card, like clockwork, every two weeks.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. This is [credit card company]. We were reviewing your history with us and we noticed that you get a new one every two weeks.”

Caller: “Of course I do! They won’t work!”

Me: “What exactly is wrong with it ma’am?”

Caller: “The magnetic strip isn’t working!”

Me: “How can you tell this?”

Caller: “Well, when I put it on the fridge, it just falls off!”





Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day

from www.chucknorrisfactoids.com



"When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris. "





Funny Pictures

from the www.icanhascheezburger.com collection








Now, about that last one….that can NOT be good.





Personal



So, Tuesday I left early because I had a toothache that turned into a mouth explosion that caused a headache the likes of which I hope to never come in contact with again because I just wanted to jump off the top of the building, headfirst. That painful. Yes.



Well, I went to the dentist yesterday. Excellent dentist. Dr. Brady Morehead. Now, I don't know if he is just that good, or my reputation precedes me with dentists, but I got the topical numbing gel, then at least 8 needle-fulls of novocain(?). I lost count after 6, so it might have been more. He even started the procedure with a joke, and I was laughing, with the right side of my face numb, and I am sure he does that not just to calm the patient down, but also to get some amusement himself because, well, have you ever seen a person laugh who has half their face numb? Hilarious. I'm telling you.



And I am very proud of myself. I did not bite, kick, or punch the dentist, I did not scream, and I was there….by myself. Yes, this is the first time in my 27 years that I have been to a dentist by myself. I think I did good. :)



Also, today I stopped by Linda's desk and got two kisses - one orange cream and one coconut. Now, I like candy as much as the next person I guess, but I now have one to add to my list of favorite things. Like music, almost any music will do, so music as a whole is a favorite thing. Breezy days between 65-70 degrees. Favorite things. Dodge Challengers and HUGE trucks jacked up? Favorite things. My hero, John Burchett, favorite thing. Now, I love coconut. Coconut has always been a favorite thing of mine. But this was a coconut kiss. And let me tell you, that coconut kiss is going to be the death of me. That was awesome.



:) Nomnomnom.





People of Chase



Still no stories. Come on. I am not the only one with a semi-charmed, amusing, chaotic life. Right? I need your stories, people!!!!!

Wait….maybe I'm the only one willing to put myself on the line so you all can laugh….is that it?

LOL





Top Ten List

from www.ahajokes.com



You Are Maliciously Internet Addicted When:





You kiss your girlfriend's/boyfriend's home page.



Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.



Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.



You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.



You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.



You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular-modem and a laptop.



You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap... and your child in the overhead compartment.



All you daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8... ISDN... cable modem... T1... T3...



And even your night dreams are in HTML.



You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com.



You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.



Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.



You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.



When looking at a page full of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.



Your pet has its own home page.



You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos.



You can't call your grandmother..... she doesn't have a modem.



You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.



You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.



You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.



Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.



You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.



You don't know the gender of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.



Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.



You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games from Apogee.



You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.



You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.



You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html



You actually try that 123.elm.street address.



You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.



Your friends no longer send you e-mail.... they just log on to your IRC channel.



You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.



Your spouse makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."



You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless.



You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP... because you never log off.



You forget what year it is.



You start tilting your head sideways to smile.



You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain.



You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind... the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net".



You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited".



Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.







Just for Giggles

from www.cleanjoke.com



College Finals



At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester.



These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.



Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.



The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.



They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It was something simple about free radical formation. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page.



On the second page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire?







Bow-chika-wow-wow.



Have a terrific Thursday!





♥jessi