April 12, 2010

Hello! Time for your daily dose of dOrk to help you battle any….
o__O
…
Case of the MONDAYS that you might have! Combat those doldrums!

Also!! I wasn't here yesterday! So where are those dOrk fOrces for Sunday?!?! Well, if you go to http://dorkforces.blogspot.com (on your personal computer), you can find the dOrk fOrces for yesterday! How awesome is that?!? And for those of you just joining the dOrk fOrces….welcome to my legiOn Of dOrky miniOns!! Don't forget to join the FaceBook group dOrk fOrces!

My song promotion of the day..... What is Love by Haddaway!!!!



Today in History
from www.todayinhistory.com

1654 - England, Ireland & Scotland united.
1709 - First edition of Tattler magazine in England.
1844 - Texas became a US territory!!!!
1892 - George C Blickensderfer patents portable typewriter. (Say that 10 times fast! And….Doofenschmirtz Evil Inc!)
1940 - NFL cuts clipping penalty from 25 yards to 15 yards.
1988 - Harvard U patents genetically engineered mouse (first for animal life).


Quotes
from www.thinkexist.com

"When I tell any truth it is not for the sake of convincing those who do not know it, but for the sake of defending those who do." ~William Blake

"If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming." ~Charles Barkley

"Pretending that we live doesn't make us alive." ~Serj Tankian

"Hi ho, Hi ho….it's off to Chase I go." ~My Gal Friday….Steffi Style


Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

neologism - a new word or expression; a new use of a word or expression.


Holidaze
from www.holidays.net

Today is National Licorice Day!!! That's AWESOME. I want some licorice now. LOL


My Life is Average
from www.mylifeisaverage.com

A few days ago, I was talking to my friend in art class. She said Gwen Stefani taught her how to spell 'bananas.' I laughed, until I remembered Fall Out Boy taught me how to spell 'believe' and Aretha Franklin taught me how to spell 'respect.' Ah, music. MLIA

Today, my little sister wore one of my old coats to school. She had show and tell. What did she show them? A 5-7 year old shriveled and dried up banana that she found in the pocket. MLIA

Today, my class was supposed to do a lab. My Chemistry teacher told us that we had to be careful because it was another one of those 'You could go blind' days. MLIA.

Today at practice, the girl I was playing against swung and missed the ball I had hit. She'd been in a bad mood that whole time and I put my racket in front of my face to hide my giggling. Then I realized that you can see through a tennis racket. MLIA

Today in Spanish class, I was growing increasingly bored, so I rolled up my worksheet like a telescope and looked around the room. While my teacher was explaining something to the class, he glanced over at me. We locked eyes through the telescope and, confused, he quickly looked away. It was awkward. MLIA.


Customers are Fun
from www.notalwaysright.com

Idiots Will Leave Behind A Tell-Tale Signature
Retail | Plainville, CT, USA

(I am a cashier finishing up with a customer. I gesture for him to sign the electronic pad when paying by card.)
Me: “Okay, please go ahead and sign the pad.”
(Customer takes out an ink pen and proceeds to get ink all over the electronic pad.)
Me: “Sir, I’m afraid that won’t work. You need to use the electronic pen.”
Customer: *suddenly realizing* “Oh, I’m sorry! Look at what I did! Will this come out?”
(Before I can answer, he attempts to erase the ink several times by pushing the “clear” button.)
Customer: “Doesn’t look like it’ll come out…”


Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day
from www.chucknorrisfactoids.com

"Chuck Norris won a staring contest against his reflection. "


Funny Pics
from the www.icanhascheezburger.com






**ZOMG!!! This is so adorable!!! I want it!!!


Personal
from the life of
jessi

Now, I know a lot of people here are always rooting for the Lakers, but… Yesterday my son & I watched it, and I have to say, missing all those free throws… In a row. And man, that last shot could have given them the win… Don't get me wrong, that last shot was the most intense shot of the game. Heck, it was the most intense single second of my entire month so far. But he missed. And the Blazers blazed to glory.

And the crowd went wild….. raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

My son (6 years old) was cheering for the Lakers at the beginning of the game but had changed his mind by the time it hit 88-88.

Also, the moth is back. You remember….that HUGE moth outside my house:



Well, today it looked like this:



Actually, judging from its markings, I think it might be a different moth. It never occurred to me there might be more than one of these monsters flitting around. Amazing.



People of Chase
from the life of…you

Talk About Tired
Working too much can do strange things to your conscious self. Like….getting to work, sitting down at your desk….and making sure your seatbelt is on…!

Wow….Sorry
He leaned in for kiss….and she dodged and went in for the hug.


Live….from California!
from the life and times of my nephew & his teenage friends.

"Do zombies not eat clowns because they taste funny?" - Tobi


Top Ten List
from www.ahajokes.com

Signs You're Really Broke


American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"

Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a fine restaurant.

You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe.

Long distance companies no longer call you to switch.

Your credit card companies raised the rates from 6.9% to 24.9%.

You see your roommate as a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

You receive care packages from Europe.

Your bologna has no first name.

You rob Peter...and then rob Paul.

You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.

You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

You give blood everyday - for the orange juice.

McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

Consumer Credit Counseling services said "No."

The neighborhood dog stopped sniffing at your pockets.


Just for Giggles
from www.cleanjoke.com

Once there was a retired pirate so he decides to live with his brother.
The pirate walks up to his brothers house and knocks on the door and his brother answers the door and says, "Oh my gosh , what happened to your hand!?! "
The pirate said, "I lost it in a sword fight , but now I have a hook."
Then the brother said, "What about your leg?"
The pirate said, "A cannonball hit it , but now I have a peg leg ."
Then the brother said, "Well , what about your eye?"
The pirate said, "I got some dust in it ."
The brother said, "How could you lose your eye by just getting some dust in it?"
Then the pirate said, "It was my first day with my hook!


Thank you! Thank you! I am here for the rest of my life.

♥jessi