Monday, April 19, 2010

April 19, 2010

Hello! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Now it's Monday! Monday! Monday! I missed the games yesterday, so if anyone watched, and something awesome happened, send me highlights. Also, I need some hairspray. I think my hair is okay right now, but….probably not for long.

If you are not already signed up for the blog, you missed two really good ones this weekend. There are something's that cannot be named here…. So when you get a chance and you are not on a work computer, don't forget to check out

I'm in a hurry today, I'm 30 minutes late starting this, so, if it seems rushed….it is.

SONG promotion of the day - Halo by Beyonce AND Sinnerman by Nina Simone.

Today in History

0607 - Comet 1P/607 H1 (Haley) approaches within 0.0898 AUs of Earth.
1948 - ABC TV Network begins.
1960 - Baseball uniforms begin displaying player's names on their backs.
1967 - "Casino Royale" premieres.


You have to love the beatniks. ♥

"Poets are damned…but see with the eyes of Angels." ~Allen Ginsberg

"My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them." ~Jack Kerouac

"Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative." ~William S. Burroughs

Word of the Day

I ♥ today's word.

scapegrace - one who is wild and reckless.


Today we celebrate National Hanging Out Day. Where ever your mind wandered, pick it up. This is referring to hanging out your laundry on the lines to dry to save money and the earth.

My Life is Average

Today, my friend and I were browsing the isles at Walgreens. Since Valentine's Day is drawing nearer, all the signs said goofy things like "Save on gifts your sweetheart will love." Under one of these type of signs we saw a rack of knives in sets of six. I'm glad Walgreens knows what couples really want as gifts for Valentine's day. MLIA

Today I drank the last G2 in those little 12-packs with the plastic holders. I proceeded to snip the plastic rings, so they wouldn't get caught around anything's neck, and my little brother decided to state the obvious: "Aw, you're helping the birdies!" My response? "No, I just don't want any more psychotic penguins like in Happy Feet." His face was priceless. MLIA

Today, a block of cheese fell out of my refrigerator. I caught it- and slammed my head on the door. Needless to say, I did NOT feel like a ninja. MLIA.

Today, I decided to join the Yahoo vs. Google War. I typed in to Google "Penguins Are" and got the result "Penguins are my favorite sort of frogs" I was so dumbfounded, I didn't bother to check Yahoo. MLIA.

Customers are Fun

There’s No Pills Like Home, Part 2
Pharmacy | New Jersey, USA

(My phone number is 1 number off a nearby pharmacy. We get a lot of misdials. My father happens to actually be a pharmacist but he doesn’t work there.)

Me: “Hello?”
Caller: “Hello? You just say Hello? How dare you be so rude! You should say “thank you for calling”!”
Me: “Oh, you must be looking for [pharmacy]. You have the wrong number.”
Caller: “Liar! How would you know what store I’m looking for? You’re just trying not to get in trouble. Give me your manager.”
Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have a manager. You’ve called a private residence. The number for the pharmacy is close to our number, so we get a lot of wrong calls.”
Caller: “This is outrageous! Give me your manager! I will not be treated this way!”
(At this point the caller was rambling and being rude so I hung up the phone. She called back, and my father answered it.)
Father: “Hello?”
Caller: “Is this the manager? Thank god! I want to know if [drug] can be taken with food! And you should fire that girl that answered before, she was very rude to me! I want to file a complaint!”
Father: “Ma’am, this is not the grocery store pharmacy. You just told off my 14-year old daughter. I happen to be a pharmacist. That drug does not need to be taken with food. However, you should see a doctor about your ears, as you clearly can’t hear a word anyone says.”

Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day

"Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. "

Funny Pics
from the collection

from the life & times of jessi bean

Well, I finally drove to work in my (candy apple) red Rodeo. On my way to work, I started losing oil pressure. Be afraid. I am. The last thing I need is for the oil pump to go out on my drive home. Then there goes the head gaskets. And if I blow the head gaskets, there goes the block. And if I crack the block, I am going to sit on the side of the road and bawl like a baby. Honestly, this sounds like a screwed up version of "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie." Seriously.

People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

"hurricane chase has officially hit my apartment and it has been declared a disaster area - that's what I get for working so much overtime!!!" ~My Gal Friday…Steffi Style

Brandon is being my hero of the moment by saving my teddy bear, Sugar, from certain death between my desk & the window wall…

Thank you, Brandon!!

And I love how the lives of people who work here but don't know each other interact. It's quite hilarious.

Live…From California!!
from the adventures of SPA (my nephew & his friends)

His MySpace pictures is a picture of Marilyn Manson….dressed up in 70's garb. It scares me.

Top Ten List

The Top 10 Signs Your Broker Was Affected by the Stock Market Crash

"He can't come to the phone right now..he's on the ledge."

"He won't be in today...he was made an offer and he refused."

"He left the building and not via the elevator..if you catch my drift."

"I'm sorry, sir..she's not in...she's out digging up your can as we speak."

There's a sign on her desk that says "Next Broker Please."

"He's on another line with his Mommy..would you care to hold?"

"No sir, that wasn't him streaking through the Stock Exchange"

"He's meeting with the SEC as we speak."

"I'm sorry, ma'am but that was him being led from the Stock Exchange naked except for the sale tickets stuck to his body via maple syrup."

"Yes sir, that is him in the White Bronco leading the cops down the freeway."

Learn from My Fail

If you happen to look down and see a large spider crawling across the crotch of your pants, try to resist the urge to smash it to death before flicking into the floorboard. You will thank you. Also, should you be unable to overcome this reflex, know that, not only will your wife nearly crash the car as she laughs hysterically at your misfortune, but she will also tell everyone you both know, and many people you don’t. #LFMF

If you own cats DO NOT buy cutesy ink pens with marabou feathers on them. Cats cannot tell difference between a writing implement and a fun now toy, nor do they care if they shred your hand while you’re signing a rent check with their new toy. #LFMF

When walking in public and you think a spider MAY be in your shirt make sure it’s not just your shirt’s tag before screaming and throwing off said shirt. #LFMF