April 16, 2010

Hello, Chase! It's another beautiful day in San Antonio, great for tanning, especially those of you who came from Florida and lost your tan when you came out here. So get outside in that beautiful sunshine and get roasted!

Isn't it great it's Friday? I miss watching TGIF. I mean Step by Step, Family Matters, Friday nights with my girl Heather eating Pixi Stix and drinking Coca Cola….then staying up all night annoying my parents with our giggles, throwing stuffed animals out the second story window and making screaming noises as they fell, actually screaming when we went outside to get them and were surrounded by bats.... Ahh….memories.

SONG promotion of the day - Funk Soul Brother - Fatboy Slim AND Tower of Song - Leonard Cohen


Today in History
from www.todayinhistory.com

1789 - George Washington heads for the first presidential inauguration.
1854 - San Salvador destroyed by earthquake.
1900 - US Post Office issues first book of postage stamps.
1922 - Annie Oakley shot 100 clay targets in a row, a women's record.
1929 - NY Yankees become first team to wear uniform numbers.
1956 - First solar powered radios go on sale.
1987 - Michael Jordon becomes second NBA to score 3000 points in a season.

Quotes
from www.thinkexist.com

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children…to leave the world a better place…to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the sleeping world."
~Leonard Cohen

"in my old age of working OT and checking for seatbelts while sitting in my cube farm - I'm also losing my mind."
~My Gal Friday….Steffi Style


Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

oneiric - oh-NY-rik - of, pertaining to, or suggestive of dreams; dreamy
*This is my new favorite word. Must use in poem.

Holidaze
from www.holidays.net

WE MISSED IT!
Today is National Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day!!!! ZOMG! I really need to start looking ahead on these things.

My Life is Average
www.mylifeisaverage.com

Today, when I was talking to my crush, he told me I was too nice to be an evil genius. He then texted me a second later saying, "Oh My Gosh, that's all part of your master plan!" MLIA

Today, I went to a party where they had a henna tattoo artist. Most of the kids got stars and hearts, I got a dinosaur saying, "Moo." Win. MLIA.

Today, I played Risk for the second time in my life. The last time I played it, I broke a table. This time, I broke a chair and fell onto a concrete floor. Obviously Risk is a risky game. MLIA.

Today I saw a commercial on TV, this skater punk teenager was waiting to cross the street. An old lady came and grabbed his hand and asked him whether he needed help crossing the street. He accepted. I wish all old people were like this. MLIA.

Today, I was "doing my business" in the stall, when I heard someone walk into the restroom. Out of an old habit, I stuck my head under the stall to look at the person's shoes. I ended up screaming when I saw that the person in the stall next to me was doing the exact same thing. MLIA.


Customers are Fun
from www.notalwaysright.com

The Adventures Of Captain Obvious
Multiple Submissions | Everywhere

Me: “Would you like the 4-piece meal or the 6-piece meal?”
Customer: “What’s the difference?”
——–
Me: “Would you like the quarter pound classic burger or the half pound classic burger?”
Customer: “Which one is bigger?”
——–
Customer: “How big is the 6 inch?”
——–
Customer: “How many come in a four-pack?”
——–
Customer: “Is your Sunday special on Sundays only?”
——–
Customer: “Does your turkey chic pea chili soup have beef in it?”
——–
Customer: “What flavor is your vanilla ice cream?”
——–
Customer: “What’s the difference between the lemon and the vanilla?”
——–
Customer: “Hi, do you sell books here?”
Me: “This is a bookstore, ma’am.”
——–
Me: “Thank you for calling Pittsford Plaza Cinema, how may I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, hello. Are you located in the Pittsford Plaza?”
——–
Me: “Thank you for calling Saltgrass Steakhouse in Meyerland Plaza where our gift cards make great holiday stocking stuffers. How may I assist you?”
Customer: “Hi, is this Saltgrass?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “In Meyerland right?”
Me: “Yes…”
Customer: “Do you have giftcards?”‘
*click*


Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day
from www.chucknorrisfactoids.com

"Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris."


Funny Pics
from the www.icanhascheezburger.com collection







Personal
from the life & times of jessi bean

Have you seen Madagascar 2? The part in the plane where the penguins are flying and the lemur king is arms straight up and he goes "it's more fun with your hands in the air….like dis?" Hilarious. I've taken to saying that lately. About everything.
So, my mom was driving me home last night and I just bust out with that, and she looks at me, throws her hands in the air and repeats it….while she's going about 40. Hilarious? I thought so. THEN when we were close to my house (I live in the middle of nowhere, and there are lots of, um, critters out there, I saw something that looked like a ferret crossing the road in front of us, and I immediately yelled "ferret!". Mom goes "WHERE?!"
"I think you just ran over it, Mom!" She looks at me….
"But it's more fun with your hands in the air like this!" and throws her hands up again.
Yeah, we are so related. I ♥ my mom.

This morning, I dropped my cane on my big toe….on my good foot. Yes. Thank you.

This flower is beautiful and I want it. I want it more than I want a spider lily. Seriously. Don't know how THAT happened. But if no one can get me that flower, I will settle for some gum. I have coffee breath.



This is a cross between Personal & People of Chase. I asked Buddha not to laugh, then put on my dOrk fOrces bOwl & asked him to take a picture of me. He took my phone and says "you're telling me not to laugh and wearing a bowl on your head."



People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

He had a blow out on I-10 and De Zavala, pulled into a parking lot, and left his car there overnight. It had been pouring, so changing the tire in the rain was not exactly ideal. When he went back the next day, he found his Mustang parked across three parking spots. He had been completely sober when he parked there.
~Thank you, R, for this fabulous story.

They are redoing the landscaping in front of building A:


Live…From California!!
from the adventures of SPA (my nephew & his friends)

o__O I haven't heard from my nephew in two days. I am getting worried. We message each other on MySpace every. single. night. I worry. Whippersnapper must be out having fabulous adventures to tell me about.
He's a good kid. Him & his friends go to the park and play on the playground. Take pictures of everything. And are addicted to orange everything. Oranges. Orange candy. Orange soda. Yes. Oranges.


Top Ten List
from www.ahajokes.com

Why Dogs Don't Use Computers


Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.

Fetch command not available on all platforms.

Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.

Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.

Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."

Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.

Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.

Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.

Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.

Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging


Just for Giggles
from www.cleanjoke.com

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Yes, I did just put that lame but still awesome joke there.





Have an amazing, astonishing, astounding, awe-inspiring, awesome Friday!

♥jessi