Saturday, April 17, 2010

April 13, 2010

Looks like it is going to rain. I ♥ rain. I hope you are all doing well on this, another beautiful spring day in San Antonio, Tx.

Song promotion of the day - Little Red Rodeo by Phil Vassar

Today in History

0837 - Best view of Haley's comet in 2000 years.
1668 - John Dryden (36) becomes first English poet laureate.
1695 - Jean de La Fontaine (poet) dies.
1796 - First elephant arrives in US from India.
1860 - First Pony Express reaches Sacramento, California.
1992 - Great Chicago Flood


"A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it." ~Jean de La Fontaine

"Beware so long as you live, of judging men by their outward appearance." ~Jean de La Fontaine

"Beware the fury of a patient man." ~John Dryden

"Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; And every little absence is an age." ~John Dryden

"Nothing like a lil new kids on the block to help ya get thru the day - and no, I WON'T give the 90's their boy band back!!" ~My Gal Friday - Steffi Style!

Word of the Day

ne plus ultra - \nee-plus-UL-truh\ - The highest point, as of excellence or achievement; the acme; the pinnacle; the ultimate


Today we celebrate Thomas Jefferson Day - our third president! Since today is his birthday.

My Life is Average

Today, I printed out a recipe of the internet for making bacon cookies. Halfway through cooking, I realized that step 5 was "Beat it like it owes you money." Thank you, mysterious cookie-pimp, for making my day. MLIA

Today, I discovered that if you put the word banana in a string of hahas in a text, no one will notice the difference. For two days now i have been texting hahahahahahahabananahaha and no one has noticed. MLIA

Today, I learned that Duct Tape was, in fact, originally called Duck Tape. Told you so. MLIA

Today, I joined the FaceBook group 'FaceBook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall'. It made me think. MLIA

Today, I was fixing my hair at the same time as my sister. She accidentally pushed the light switch with her arm, and the bathroom was pitch black. When she turned it on, we were both making a funny face. She then turned it off again, and we made another face. We continued for a while, and then continued to fix our hair. We never said one word. MLIA

Customers are Fun

Op-tickle Fibers
Tech Support | Utah, USA

(I am in the middle of finishing the last download to fix a customer's computer, but his internet keeps resetting.)
Me: “Sorry the download didn’t work. Your internet reset again. We will have to try it again and hopefully it will finish this time.”
Customer: “You know, if you want to speed this up, all you have to do is take the mouse, and kinda rub it over the download box.”
Me: “I’m sorry, rub it over the download box?”
Customer: “Yea you know? If you tickle the download box with the mouse it goes faster. I thought you would know that, being a Tech Support guy and all.”

Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day

"Chuck Norris won a staring contest with the sun. Two feet away. "

Funny Pics
from the collection

from the life & times of jessi bean

I GOT A CANDY APPLE RED RODEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry. I love it. It's a 1994 candy apple red Rodeo. It's beautiful. I love it. I need to think of a name for her. All she needs is motor mounts and she's good to go!!

I should have taken a picture. I will, and will post it tomorrow. But to see it, you have to go to the dOrk fOrces blOg @

I am drinking coffee &&

And I have a new plant - thank you, K. I ♥ my new plant and I name him Wishbone!!

People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

Random texts prolly meant for someone else.
((He knew she was working this afternoon…so he sends her a text, and she has NO idea what he's on about.))
so i was minding my business - and I got a text from him saying 'so are you serious about this afternoon? if so, how do you want to work this out?' - from Single in the City!

Really? That exciting, huh?
"So, M_____, tell me something hilarious that happened to you today."
"Nothing, really. I got up, got dressed, came home, I mean to work."
"What about the day before that?"
"Same thing."
"And….the day before that?"
"Uhh…my neice started calling me Buddha because of my haircut."
from my new friend, Buddha :: mwah ha ha ::

Brian, your haircut looks nice!

Ryan! Welcome back, boss!

Robert! :( No new fans on my dOrk fOrces FB page yet!! LOL

Live…From California!!
from the adventures of SPA (my nephew & his friends)

"Why do you call her Shiny?" (me)
"Have you ever seen Wall-E?" (nephew)
"Of course! Wa-ah-ah-lleee!" (me)
"You know how Wall-E has that addiction to picking up shiny objects?" (nephew)
"Yeah…?" (me)
"Yeah." (nephew)
"Oh!" (me)

Or something like that…

Top Ten List

The top ten signs that someone is using your e-mail account

10. "Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from backing into our driveway?"

9. One Secret Service agent is sitting on your head while another is slapping cuffs on you.

8. Apparently, your flame war with is about to turn ugly.

7. When you log on, your computer says "You've got lawsuits!"

6. You're suddenly getting more Spam than the Hormel outlet store.

5. Sotheby's says the Rembrandt is yours and that you now owe them $71,000,000 and change.

4. You now have 130,000 ClubTop5 subscriptions and the list moderator is on the cover of Business Week.

3. Terse "Knock it off, Oedipus" e-mail from your Mom.

2. Your wife calls you at the office to report that Pogdi, your Pakistani mail-order bride, has arrived.

1. "The resistance welcomes your involvement. Your contact information has been forwarded to a local insurgent who will bring supplies and reinforcements to you immediately."

Just for Giggles

I’m Tired! Yes, I’m tired. For several years I’ve been blaming it on getting older, lack of sleep, weekend projects, stale office air, poor nutrition, carrying extra pounds, raising a family, recent colds, and a dozen other reasons that make you wonder why life is getting rough.

But now I found out what’s really happening! I’m tired because I’m overworked. The population of the USA reached 300 million last October. 79 million of the population are retired. That leaves 221 million to do the work. There are 19 million toddlers and 76 million students in schools, which leaves 126 million to do the work. Of that total, 21 million are unemployed leaving 105 million to do the work.

Then you take away 34 million in hospitals and that leaves 71 million to do the work. 43 million are in prisons and that’s 28 million left to do the work. Now take away 14,683,468 federal, 5,344,722 state and 5,370,743 city workers who run our government and you’re left with 2,601,067 to do the work. Take away the 2,601,065 people in the armed forces and that leaves just two people to do the work - You and Me! And you’re just sitting there reading this! No wonder I’m tired!!!

Dun dun dun dun … dun dun … dun dun CAN'T TOUCH THIS!

Have a terrific Tuesday!!