April 20, 2010

Good afternoon, my lovelies, my preciousssss. I hope you all had a good night's rest after yesterday's craziness. Wow, what a Monday, huh?

SONG promotion of the day - Angel by Massive Attack
Angel by Sarah McLachlan
Angel of Mercy by Jonny Lang
Angels on the Moon by Thriving Ivory


Today in History
from www.todayinhistory.com

0295 - 8th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet.
1777 - New York adopts a new constitution as an independent state.
1836 - Territory of WISCONSIN created.
1841 - First detective story (Poe's "Murders in the Rue Morgue") published.
1853 - Harriet Tubman starts Union Underground.
1894 - 136,000 mine workers strike in Ohio for pay increase.
1926 - First check sent by radio facsimile transmission across Atlantic.
1946 - First baseball broadcast in Chicago, Cardinals vs. Cubs.


Quotes
from www.thinkexist.com

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." ~Bill Cosby

"Hope is the most exciting thing in life and if you honestly believe that love is out there, it will come. And even if it doesn't come straight away there is still that chance all through your life that it will. ~John Hartnett

"Dum spiro, spero." ~Latin proverb (While I breathe, I hope.)


Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

agrestic - pertaining to fields or the country.



Holidaze
from www.brownielocks.com

This WEEK we are celebrating Astronomy Week and Consumer Awareness Week.

Today's celebration can be found by googling for it. LOL Sorry.


My Life is Average
www.mylifeisaverage.com

Today, while I was at a friend's house she said she lost her remote control, so I did the most logical thing and looked in the couch. We were confused when I pulled out a steak knife. MLIA.

Today, I was watching House. I'm a doctor, and this is my favorite show. No, it's not because I can relate to it...It's because I try to find the answer before they do. So far I'm 1/37. MLIA

Last night my family and I was playing the game catch phrase, where you have to describe a word without saying or spelling it. My mom had to describe the word taxi. Her description was "Something that you flag down in the city that can give you a ride." Without missing a beat my dad replies "A HOOKER!" We had to stop the game because none of us could stop laughing. I love my family! MLIA

Today, I woke up to my dad singing the Itsy-Bitsy spider in an opera voice just outside my bedroom door. I didn't have the heart to yell at him for waking me up. MLIA.

Today, I went in the kitchen. I saw a brownie on the counter with my name written all over it. Literally. MLIA

Today, I joined a group on FaceBook called, "That's what she said. Who is she? And why is she saying these dirty things?" Good question, FaceBook, good question. MLIA.


Customers are Fun
from www.notalwaysright.com

Innocence Lost
Print Shop | Cape Cod

Me: “[Company], how can I help you?”
Caller: “Yea, I need you guys to work on my car’s transmission. How much?”
Me: “Ma’am, we don’t work on cars here, we print things.”
Caller: “But…but I Googled [company] and I got you guys.”
Me: “I’m sorry, Google was wrong. I don’t know how we got on there.”
Caller: “But I Googled you! You have to do it!”
Me: “Ma’am, we have copiers here, not a garage. Try the yellow pages?”
Caller: *sounding very betrayed* “I can’t believe I Googled you.”


Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day
from www.chucknorrisfactoids.com

"If you see Chuck Norris fighting a bear, don't help Chuck Norris, help the bear. "

Funny Pics
from the www.icanhascheezburger.com collection






**Had to include that. I adore owls. **


Personal
from the life & times of jessi bean

Today I took my (candy apple) red Rodeo to the mechanic's to get checked for why I am losing oil pressure and stalling. The mechanic said he was going to flush my fuel lines. I am very scared.

I was listening to my mp3 player while writing this, and I had it up loud and was trying to turn it down….on the computer.

I was on the phone with ♥John♥ on the way to work, and he is watching Four Christmases. I wish he wasn't 1300 miles away because I would have loved to have seen that man cry from laughing so hard. Which reminds me. I'm waiting for X to get out of work one night and I'm waiting by his truck, and I am on the phone with ♥John♥ and X comes walking up to the truck and goes "tell your man you'll call him tomorrow, you're mine for the night." Today, I'm on the phone with ♥John♥ while Freddy is telling me (hilarious!!!!!!!) story, and I tell ♥John♥ I love him and Freddy goes "you really shouldn't tell me you love me with your boyfriend on the phone." This is hilarious. I know it must be somewhat amusing to watch my face turn redder than a pomegranate and giggle nervously hoping he didn't take that seriously, but…. Oh, fine. It's hilarious. Good thing he has a sense of humor.


People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

Mat (from FB): "…is losing his faith in humanity because of…. account holders, pauses realizing he too is an account holder."

!Thank you, Freddy!
So Freddy gets a call from his rancher buddy who wants him to come help "pull a calf." Freddy heads out and figures maybe the calf got stuck somewhere.

Yeah. Well, the calf was definitely stuck…in the throes of being born, and the rancher has a come-along tied to the calf's leg, and they are pulling the calf, trying to get it out. Well, it had already been established that the calf was dead, but suddenly someone shouts "I think I saw it move!" So they start working trying to get the calf out, and the rancher hits the gas and goes forward, hoping to pull the calf out this time….and pulls off the leg!

:: silence::

Yeah, Freddy told it WAY better than that.


And, the Kana Fiesta Fruit Cups:





Live…From California!!
from the adventures of SPA (my nephew & his friends)

My nephew would like to know if it is possible to burp an adult like you can a baby…


Top Ten List
from www.ahajokes.com

Signs Your Car Might Be a Lemon

Motor Trend never mentioned a "Chevrolet Caca."

Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan.

Passenger-side "airbag" is actually Rush Limbaugh crammed inside your glove box.

Two Words: Pontiac Sunkist

Changing the pre-set radio stations voids the warranty.

Oil spills on your driveway prompt a visit from Greenpeace.

Car has spent more time on "60 Minutes" than on the road.

Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.

Turn on the wipers and two guys climb out of the trunk with squeegees.

Bicycle pump required to inflate airbags.

"Jaws of Life" in trunk.

The hood ornament? An ostrich with its head in the sand.

When you sit behind the wheel, a nerdy billionaire voice asks, "Where do you want to go today?"

You realize too late that it *is* your father's Oldsmobile.

Ralph Nader's home phone number written on dashboard.

The telltale green-and-yellow-make-blue Zip-Lok seals on your air bags.



Learn from My Fail
from www.learnfrommyfail.com


Never assume the teapot contains only water. The ‘eyelash’ you find in the third cup is actually part of the ’spider soup’ you discover you’ve made in the fourth (and last) cup. #LFMF.

When standing in your dimly lit bathroom, make sure the "bug" in your sink is NOT your wife’s diamond earring before you flick it into the drain. #LFMF

After a hot guy spends an hour helping you fix your car, don’t back into his truck. #LFMF

When considering a new roommate, try to figure out what sort of contribution his dog named "Poopers" will make to the household. #LFMF



Have a terrific Tuesday!

♥jessi