April 10, 2010

Good afternoon! Time for your daily dose of dOrk.

Today in History
from www.todayinhistory.com

1790 - Robert Gray is the first American to circumnavigate the Earth.
1825 - First hotel in Hawaii opens.
1872 - Arbor day first celebrated in Nebraska, later changed to April 22.
1916 - First professional golf tournament held.


Quotes
from www.thinkexist.com

"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow." ~Chinese Proverb

"Sorrow comes to all… Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better and yet you are sure to be happy again." ~Abraham Lincoln

"I want to do drawings which touch people… In figure or landscape I should wish to express, not sentimental melancholy, but serious sorrow." ~Vincent van Gogh


Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

Pyrrhic victory - a victory achieved at great cost.


Holidaze
from www.holidays.net

Today is National Siblings Day.


My Life is Average
www.mylifeisaverage.com

Yesterday, I was walking down a street in Berkeley, Ca, when a guy pointed to a spot on the ground and said, "You dropped your smile over here." I instantly smiled at the remark. He made my day. MLIA

Today, I was on FaceBook and one of my friend changed her status to "I believe that FaceBook is a lot like the fridge.... when you're bored you keep opening and closing it every couple of minutes to see if there's anything good, but nothing ever changes." So true. MLIA

Today, all throughout school, I heard a frog croaking. Now, at home, I hear a frog croaking. I do believe I am being stalked.

Today, when I was cutting up broccoli, my mom walked in to see me yelling TIMBER!!! and dramatically cutting off the branches of my broccoli. She then joined me and we chopped down our mini trees together and singing the Monty Python Lumberjack song, complete with sound effects of the branches hitting the ground. yep, we're related. MLIA

This morning I decided to try to wash my face like on the face wash commercials. The only things that got wet was my hands and the floor.


Customers are Fun
from www.notalwaysright.com

Re-Vamping Dracula
Bookstore | El Paso, TX, USA

Customer: “Hi, I need to get a refund for this book. You gave me the wrong book.”
Me: “Didn’t you ask for Dracula?”
Customer: “No! I read this book and it is nothing like the movie.”
Me: “Actually, Francis Ford Coppola completely re-wrote the story when he filmed his version of Dracula. I can help you find that version, if you’d like.”
Customer: “No! I want the Van Helsing version.”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Customer: “Yeah, in Van Helsing, Van Helsing is the main character and he fights Dracula and Frankenstein.”
Me: “That film is a complete work of fiction. Van Helsing never fought Frankenstein or Frankenstein’s monster.”
Customer: “Yes he did! The movie said so! What do you know?”
Me: “Bram Stoker was a little boy when Mary Shelley died, so she never read Dracula.”
Customer: “I think you are lying. The movie and Hugh Jackman would never lie!” *storms off*
Customer #2: *overhearing* “I hate Hollywood.”


Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day
from www.chucknorrisfactoids.com

"Chuck Norris plays Russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins. "


Funny Pics
from the www.icanhascheezburger.com collection





**Seriously. How many people had that last picture happen to them on April Fool's???


Personal

Ehhhh. I got called weird by at least seven different people in the last few weeks and I took it as a compliment. It's part of what makes me so endearing, yes? Also, I just saw a beautiful yellow butterfly flit by my window. Yes, I am positive this one was a butterfly.


People of Chase

"You had ripples?" -don't ask.

"Now, people would expect that of you!" -Jan, telling me if I did something crazy, people would have been expecting it of me.



Top Ten List
from www.ahajokes.com

If AOL Were A City...


You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name.

You'd only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the time you tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck.

Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you'd be assaulted by slimy little door-to-door sales creeps offering you great AOL 14.4 modems for only $399.99.

The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every time you try to leave your driveway, the flow of traffic knocks you back into your yard.

The local post office would tell your mother you're not a known resident.

The local post office won't forward your mail to you when you move.

If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with a form letter saying how you "really are important to us."

Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the store by a bouncer screaming, "WE'RE SORRY, THIS STORE IS TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE."

Whenever you traveled to other cities, people would see your license tag and laugh at you, behind your back.

You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another bouncer telling you that the city has performed an illegal operation.

You'd not have any idea who your neighbors are, and most new arrivals would move in at night, stuff everyone's mailbox with garbage, and vacate before sun-up.

The administration would build a huge, state of the art park, and allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly start demanding money.


Just for Giggles
from www.cleanjoke.com

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300° C.

The Russians use a pencil.




Have a spectacular Saturday and a wonderful weekend!

♥jessi