April 15, 2010

So, I know I was supposed to post a dOrk fOrces yesterday on the FB group and the blOg, but I had just such a crazy day. I woke up, went to an awards ceremony at my son's school, went and picked up my Rodeo, got gas, drove all the way home, got online, tried to find insurance, got frustrated with computer, went out, stopped at three insurance places, went home, remembered I needed stuff, went to Mom's, played video games with my son, went to store, got said needed stuff, went home, talked to boyfriend, watched City of Angels with him (on the phone….unique experience, let me tell you, crying to a tear jerker in one state while he is laughing at me from 1300 miles away), got online, checked my stuff, and by that time I was so tired I just decided not to post dOrk fOrces and went to bed. But I will post….the whole week's dOrk fOrces….hopefully tonight.
Phew.
If you saw me with my hand to my mouth convulsing, it's okay….I'm okay. I was trying not to be loud about guffawing at today's top ten list.

Wishbone is wishing it was outside to get the glorious rainwater instead of being in a cup…


SONG Promotion of the Day: Big Bopper - Chantilly Lace - GO TO YouTube and watch the video. Seriously. How old is that video and the talk show host actually says "yea-yeaah." I ♥ that song…
Of course, I also have to add the following:
I'm Only Happy When it Rains - Garbage
Songs About Rain - Gary Allan (anything by Gary Allan, really….giggle)
Ain't Gonna Rain No More - Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds (I love him, but his rendition of Paint it Black was horrid)
Have You Ever Seen the Rain? - CCR - need I say more???
Walk Out in the Rain - Bob Dylan
Still Rainin' - Jonny Lang (♥♥♥)
Box of Rain - Grateful Dead (I miss my Grateful Dead bear lunchbox…..)
Rain - Chamillionaire

Today in History
from www.todayinhistory.com

1738 - Bottle opener invented.
1784 - First balloon flight in Ireland.
1800 - James Ross discovers North Magnetic Pole.
1817 - First American school for the deaf opens.
1896 - First Olympic Games close at Athens, Greece.
1912 - The Titanic sinks.
1923 - First sound on film public performance shown at Rialto Theatre. (NYC)
1952 - First B-52 prototype test flight.
1975 - First appearance of San Diego Chicken.


Quotes
from www.thinkexist.com

"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us." ~Voltaire

"I am kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy." ~J. D. Salinger


Word of the Day
from www.dictionary.com

pelf - money; riches; gain ((generally conveying the idea of something ill-gotten))

Holidaze
from www.holidays.net

:: falls out of chair laughing ::
Are you ready for this?
Today is National "That Sucks" Day. Not only are income taxes due, so are quarter estimated federal income taxes. AND, it's the anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.


My Life is Average
www.mylifeisaverage.com

Today, my friends and I were driving back to college. As we entered town, we decided to be "gangsta" and blast the music. The person in control of the iPod at this time decided to play "Hakuna Matata" The looks we received were well worth it. MLIA.

Today, my friend put as his FaceBook status "going to go comatose for a few hours, hallucinate vividly, then maybe suffer amnesia about the whole experience." I will never call it sleeping again. MLIA.

Today I realized the average monopoly game does not have a silver mammoth playing piece. I am now confused as to why mine does. MLIA

Today, I found out that the little shreds of paper left over when you rip paper out of a spiral notebook are called "Kadoobies". I think I have a new favorite word. MLIA

Yesterday, I was bitten by a spider. when I woke up this morning, I realized that I could see perfectly. next I realized that I had forgotten to take out my contacts the night before. I was extremely disappointed. MLIA


Customers are Fun
from www.notalwaysright.com

Beyond Even The Power Of Pixel Dust
Copy Shop | Philadelphia, PA, USA

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a copy of this photo, but I need one the people cropped out. “
(The customer hands me a photo of three men, arms around each other’s shoulders in front of a brick wall.)
Me: “Which one needs to be cropped out?”
Customer: “The guy in the middle.”
Me: “Well, we really can’t do that. That is more for a photo-refinishing artist.”
Customer: “Can’t you just erase the guy in the middle?”
Me: “We could, but then there would be a blank space where he once was. It would be pretty obvious.”
Customer: “Oh, you won’t just see the wall behind him if he is removed?”
Me: “No, the camera doesn’t take a picture of what is behind the person, just what you see.”
Customer: “What if it was a digital camera?”


Chuck Norris Factoid of the Day
from www.chucknorrisfactoids.com

"Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. "


Funny Pics
from the www.icanhascheezburger.com collection







Personal
from the life & times of jessi bean

Just….Really??
My boyfriend told me I should not tell people this, but it is quite hilarious, so I thought I'd put myself out on the line so you all can laugh.

As I've (consistently) told people, I recently bought a 1994 (candy-apple) red Rodeo. I ♥ my rodeo. Well, it needs some work….motor mounts, transmission mount, transmission flush, which it is actually getting today. Spa treatment for CA. Well, I'm on the phone with said person yesterday, backing out of my driveway because I need to go get milk & toilet paper (it seems that living alone automatically shifts you into bachelorette mode), and the Rodeo is making a strange sound. I growl and I put it in drive, and it is not moving, and making the same sound again.
"Your transmission went out." Yeah, thank you, Ohio, for pointing that out. I almost started to bawl. Like I said, I ♥ my rodeo. Anyway, I'm there, in the middle of the road, half backed out, and about to cry….and I realize….
I left the emergency brakes on.
Just….kidding.
Yeah. I'd appreciate if no one went by pointing and laughing at me about this, but hey.


Murphy's Law
Murphy's Law states that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. I was on my way to get insurance yesterday…. I stopped at an insurance place on Potranco by Ellison - yeah, they were out of business. Still had their sign up and stuff on the window, but they were closed. So I am sitting in my (candy apple red) Rodeo (No, I am probably not going to stop saying that any time soon), and this crazy person comes within CENTIMETERS of my (candy apple red) Rodeo while they are trying to park! Meanwhile, I am on the phone with an insurance agent, and they are telling me where they are located (across town, of course), and I gave the person driving a dirty look.
So then I take off, and I am just driving around, looking for an insurance place, and this cop passes me, hits his brakes, does a U-Turn in the middle of traffic, and I am so sure I am going to get stopped. I was ready to start crying. I was. But he didn't stop me. Then I stopped at a Nationwide Insurance place on Ingram & Culebra….they were out to lunch. Until 2:55pm. Not 2:45pm. Not 3pm. 2:55pm. That is what the hand-written sign said.
So I take off again. Finally stop at Solamente Insurance on Culebra across from the SSFCU, and there is a sign that they are out to lunch until 3pm. I am terrified. I just KNOW that if I take off again, I am going to get stopped, ticketed, and my car impounded. So I just sit there, for about 25 minutes, until this lady drives up and goes inside. So I get out and follow her. Sweetest woman around. Bertha Bocanegra. Let me tell you. I've had insurance agents who pretend to be human (even though I know they're not), but this lady was awesome. Yes, this is an advertisement, because….well….it felt like she was supposed to be my insurance agent, what with having gone through three companies already in the last 30 minutes.

I need some sugar for my Emergen-C. It tastes better with sugar. && I am so feening crab rangoons.


People of Chase
from the life & times of … you!

I Don't Wanna Grow Up
My 7 year old nephew was running around the house and stubbed his toe (OUCH!) he started crying. My uncle goes up to him and tells him to stop crying and "be a man"… my nephew's response?
"I don't want to be a man, I want to be a boy!"
~*~Thanks, P!

Type Again?
You know you've been on the phones too long when you're typing for live chat and when someone asks you a question, you hit the mute button on your phone to make sure the customer does not hear your banter……….
~*~Thanks, C! And T for reminding me because I knew it was something hilarious, but I forgot.



Live…From California!!
from the adventures of SPA (my nephew & his friends)

"I need to think of a name for my new Rodeo." (me)
"How about my clubbin' name - Candy Apple." (nephew)
"You. Have. A. Clubbin' Name???" (me)

Stay tuned. I must find out how this "clubbin name" of Candy Apple has been dubbed to my nephew….



Top Ten List
from www.ahajokes.com

You Know You're Having a Bad Day When...


Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists.

You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned.

Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.

The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

You wake up and your braces are stuck together.

Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband.

You put both contacts into the same eye.

Your mother approves of the person you're dating.

Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.

Everyone loves your driver's license picture, but you think it looks awful.

The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.

The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money when she sees your future.

People think that you're 40 and you're only 25.

You call your spouse and tell them that you'd like to eat out tonight and when you get home, your find a sandwich on the front porch.

It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.



Just for Giggles
from www.cleanjoke.com

How do you get a Kleenex to dance?

… Put a little boogey in it.


Yes, I did just put that lame but still awesome joke there.





Have a swell Thursday!

♥jessi